Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Deflated, Thankful and Inquisitive

Have  you ever gotten so excited about something, or had something to say, that you felt was immensely profound, and right when you get to the moment of release - nothing happens?  This nothingness that comes on because: 1) you weren't fast enough to begin the conversation, 2) someone else was quicker to cut the other person off mid sentence to get their two cents in, 3) you decided that perhaps it wasn't so profound due to the new direction the initial conversation is going?  Yep, I'm deflated.  Which, happens more often than I care to admit.  Now I know I shared with you my ability to speak what I think - yeah, that is true, BUT it comes only when the opportunity strikes.  And, well, this evening was not my turn.

Regardless, I had an insightful day and need to get it off my chest.  First, nothing brings more clarity to life than having someone listen to you.  So there I was driving to class this afternoon and talking to my grandma, who is the most AMAZING grandma in the world (bias not included!), and mid conversation I realized that I have this great list of things in life in which I am beyond thankful for.  For instance:  1) I have a great husband and 3 beautiful girls 2) I have a job that I love going to everyday 3) I have a degree and the opportunity to earn another one 4) I have a great family - these are people who some like to talk ill about because they don't meet their expectations of perfection, but they are mine and they love me and I them 5) the world's best people as my friends - you peeps rock 6) a minivan - yes I love my Town & Country even if I still have a loan and it is 8 years old & 7) the best of all - my Jesus, my Savior, my refuge and strength.  One of these days I will share with you my testimony. 

Then I got to thinking about books.  Go figure, right?!  The thing that struck me today as I was talking to grandma about what I was reading, she loves history so I knew she'd like to hear about Ben Franklin, is the manner in which I got the book.  I mean as few as 5 years ago I'd have had to go to the library to barrow the book or a bookstore and buy it; now I can downloaded them in a matter of seconds on my Kindle.  This made me rather melancholy because if books are that easy to come by, where will all the bookstores go?  More importantly, where will all the libraries go?  Then I had to laugh as I visualized Carnegie rolling over in his grave.  I know that progress must and will happen, but sometimes I wonder at how much expense it needs to be at.

One last thing, which I will continue later, but will begin it as a question, is why does happiness always get equated to conceit and bragging?

Until next time - read on!

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