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Showing posts from July, 2014

Why Does Trust Hurt So Bad?

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People, I'm a hot mess.  I'd like to say it was all because of something new that is happening in my life, but it isn't; it is the same thing. In the past few weeks and in the next couple, many of my friends have either gotten married or are celebrating their wedding anniversaries.  While, yes, I am happy for them and have celebrated with them (attended said nuptials) I am broken over where I am.  I am 84 days away from the 2 year mark!  2 years people!  I know, I can hear you all now saying "that is all?  Give it time Mandy, give it time."  Of course, so that you know, those of you saying this are also the ones who I have celebrated with and congratulated in these past weeks.  In other words - YOU HAVE NO PERSPECTIVE ON HOW THIS FEELS!  Seriously, people who have not been on the receiving end of a divorce DO. NOT. KNOW.  HOW. IT. FEELS!  And, for those who are remarried from a previous divorce (regardless of which side) have simply forgotten the pain that is asso

From the Rearview

I began this post on June 25th. A year in the rearview... Most folks do a year in review January first, because you know, it signifies the beginning of a new year, a new beginning, new opportunities.  Well, as you know, I'm not "most folks!" I decided to use today as my year in review.  Not because I think I am above or different or anything of the sort, but because quite clearly it has been one year.  One year that my divorce has been final - that is as of yesterday. Also, yesterday being my birthday. You know there were so many things that I learnt last year. So many lessons, so many things I found.  Things I found out about myself, things I wished I wouldn't have found out about myself. Things I found out about others, things that you really find what others are made of - not just yourself.  This past year has just been one of many ups and many downs. Time and again people equate life to a roller coaster; I think it's a great visual.  I mean for those who

When Angels Sing

One year.  That is what it has been since my grandma went home to sing with Jesus.  I miss her.  I know wanting her back is completely selfish on my part, but I do. I want her back.  She was the only "adult" in my life that truly got me.  (Yes, my bestie does, but really, it's not exactly the same.) Have you ever had that person you could call up and talk to for an hour (or more) about anything and everything and even though some of the stuff that you are telling them you know is stuff they should probably be giving you a tongue lashing for, they don't?  That was grandma.  Don't get me wrong, she'd give her advice, but only when asked.  I miss that.  I miss having someone I can talk to that understands the way my brain works, but understands more the truth of God's word and how to put the two together.  I'm sure that sounds weird and altogether out there, but grandma knew the Bible and when something didn't add up, despite her obvious short-comings