I Read Too Much

I read a blog yesterday a friend of mine had shared on her Facebook page. It was about a woman, who after several years of marriage, six children, and countless other life experiences with the man she had married in her early years, still reveled in their love of one another. Sure, the premise of the blog had a physical undertone, but more than that it allowed the reader to relate to the fact - sometimes you just have to come together to get through it together.  I know I could relate. This post garnered many comments from other friends, and while I was unable to meet the level of understanding several of the others who commented on the post did, I still understood.  You see, unlike many of those who commented, I have been divorced and remarried - this gives a completely different view on the subject. Upon the first read, I was reminded how much stock we place in perfection while in a relationship. We, as a society, have gotten to a point where we believe a relationship ne...

I started a couple of Bible studies/Devotionals to help my heart draw nearer to the Lord and also my husband.  You see there are days when I don't feel like being a loving person.  There are days when it takes more work than I think it should.  This is an ugly truth, but one I won't hide from. In her book, Wife after God, Jennifer Smith follows up each devotional with a list of journal questions.  I love these.  They are hard, and soul searching.  But they are also good.  They make me think beyond my immediate feelings to those that I have once all of the ickiness is scratched off.  This ickiness is something akin to an outer shell that I put around my heart (thoughts, feelings, etc) when I want to protect myself.  Anyway, to the reason for this post.  On Day 3 she talks about how God created us because he wanted companionship.  Just as He created Eve for Adam, He created mankind for himself.  What a beautiful thought!...

Do any of  you remember Sunday school from when you were little?  I do.  I remember the felt board stories of those famous Bible characters and how my teachers would bring the lessons to life as they moved them about the board.  Sometimes I miss the innocence of those story boards, of those lessons.  I'd like to say, other than memorizing the story, that I remembered the meaning behind it.  Fast forward a few decades and Sunday school takes on a whole new meaning.  It gets real now people.  It takes those same stories and drives them home.  These are real things that affect real life, today.  I've been struggling with some things for the past several weeks.  There are lessons that I had heard and didn't find their relevance and now, after many deep talks with a man that I've willing given my heart to, there are many that have a one-two punch where it comes to relevance.  I go to his church on Saturday nights and his Past...

People, I'm a hot mess.  I'd like to say it was all because of something new that is happening in my life, but it isn't; it is the same thing. In the past few weeks and in the next couple, many of my friends have either gotten married or are celebrating their wedding anniversaries.  While, yes, I am happy for them and have celebrated with them (attended said nuptials) I am broken over where I am.  I am 84 days away from the 2 year mark!  2 years people!  I know, I can hear you all now saying "that is all?  Give it time Mandy, give it time."  Of course, so that you know, those of you saying this are also the ones who I have celebrated with and congratulated in these past weeks.  In other words - YOU HAVE NO PERSPECTIVE ON HOW THIS FEELS!  Seriously, people who have not been on the receiving end of a divorce DO. NOT. KNOW.  HOW. IT. FEELS!  And, for those who are remarried from a previous divorce (regardless o...

Have you ever been angry enough to fight?  Of course you have.   You are human.  Don't deny it.  It's alright.  There is no one here that will judge you.  I'm sure you are curious about why this topic, why now?  I mean I never got angry enough to fight in the whole past year.  That's just it.  I was.  I just didn't act it out in the way most people thought I should.  I didn't allow the hurt to produce the ugly side affects that anger can cause.  But now, now I want to share what I am angry about.  What I think all women should be angry about.  Truthfully, what all people should be angry about - the degradation of marriage. I will never deny the role I held in the breakdown of my marriage.  Sure, I wanted more than he could give. I wanted him to be someone he simply wasn't.  I wanted him to become a man that God had not created him to be.  It's ok.  I admit that.  I really do wish h...

I have thought about this post so many times in the last 10 months. YES, 10 months! People, I am literally 2 months from the one year mark where the ex-Mr walked away. I know, I know, I am TOTALLY the last person to dole out marriage advice. I mean, hell, I've been divorced twice now -we'll leave it at they both moved on, but I am the woman that gets left for a different model. Ok, so I'm not being fair to this blog post or myself here. I have a point. I hope you stick around long enough to read it. Truth, marriage is not easy. It is actually the hardest thing you will EVER do in life. I understand that many people do NOT want to hear marriage advice from a twice-divorced, single woman. But, it's my blog and you ARE here. Now, now, I am not trying to be a smarty-pants, it's just, well, sometimes you have to walk a mile in those shoes to realize the full extent of the blisters they create. So here are a few things I'd like to share. Again, I am not claiming t...