I Read Too Much

I have tried to put this post together many times over the past few days. Yet, every time I would get a few sentences in I would get distracted or have to run off to something the Littles needed me for.  In each of my attempts I have wanted to pour out the sadness, the pain, the heartache, and the agony that has consumed me.  Honestly I still want to do that.  I still want to cry all over this post.  I want you to see and feel what I see and feel.  To a point, there is still a chance that will happen here, tonight, as my fingers meet the keys.  But, to be honest, I think God gave me the distractions to keep the wrong words from coming out, the hurtful words.  Not in that I would have been mean, but in that I wouldn't have been fair.  We do that sometimes, don't we?  Most especially when we hurt, we use our words. He broke up with me.  This man that I had fallen in love with.  This man who I met last fall and spent s...

She searched and searched and searched and still she couldn't find him. "Where could he be, Lord?" She asked. "Does he even exist?" These are the questions that plague her, morning and night.  She is consumed by them really.  She longs to find that person who is to be her forever someone. She reads everything she can, listens to everyone around her, and yet she feels no closer to the answer than when she started. "Give it time and wait for the Lord." her friends say. "Become an A+ kind of woman." her pastor says. "You don't need anyone but yourself." her coworker says. "Just go out and have fun." others say. Still the tears soak her pillow daily.  Still the loneliness of her circumstance overwhelms her logical thought.  Still she longs to have that thing that was stolen from her.  Still she is no closer to the healing her heart needs.  She is broken on the inside.  Millions of little pieces that do not even ...

I live in that part of the country that received a healthy portion of snow over the past 24 hours.  Then, to add insult to injury, we dropped 40 degrees and the wind has been less than kind. In other words, it has been brutal.  In all, the total effect has resulted in the state (or at least my portion of it) being closed down.  Now, I can tell you that as an adult snow days are not only welcomed, but secretly wished for.  That is, if you have something to do other than dig yourself out of the snow.  When they are bored I usually tell my Littles to "find" something.  I mean, they have just about anything a child could want:  books, coloring books, crayons, tablets, movies (well they have to come to a collective agreement since we only have 1 TV), toys, etc.  Seriously, they should be able to keep busy, right?  Yet, here I am struggling with boredom.  You see, I've been here, in my home, all alone for 4 days.  This is the week...