I Read Too Much

I woke up early today, earlier than normal. The Mr. hadn't even come in to give me a good-bye kiss yet (he leaves before 5 am). Yes, that early.  My brain has been completely stuck in a whirlwind. So many thoughts and ideas to get onto this virtual paper. I tried going back to sleep, but couldn't.  I tried dulling them away with time on the Internet, but was unsuccessful.  So here I am, instead of getting ready for work myself, writing to you - this vast unknown of readers. Below is a highly condensed version of the last twenty years of my life.  Highly. Condensed. I got my first house, a tin can really, in the fall of 1996. It was a small, but quaint trailer in a local trailer park. I shared it with my high school sweetheart and I was going to get married, have a couple kids, and spend my life in perfect happiness. I love looking back on my naivete. It wasn't that things couldn't have progressed like my romance novels said they could, but I wanted more.  So, I got a

In the past two days I have been challenged.  Challenged in a way that I don't ever recall being challenged before. The Mr. and I are in a Small Group study through our church.  We are currently studying Francis Chan's "Forgotten God". If I can take a minute and share my utter love for his delivery of God's truths.  He is a phenomenal pastor and teacher.  I digress. For those who aren't familiar with the book, it is based solely on the work of the Holy Spirit and the work that only He can do in our lives.  Yesterday and today we spent some time reading the book and doing the accompanying workbook and can I say, we were both caught off guard.  Not in a bad way, but in a moment of 'aha-ness'!.  Then today at church the message was, for lack of better words, on point.  While much was said, I am still ruminating on the reason why Jesus came.  He came to set us free from the bondage of sin.  Yes, we all know this.  However, when we think of sins most are

"Who Am I?" At some point in life, everyone asks this of themselves in one way, shape, or form.   It is an age-old question.  For some, the answer is quick and they carry on with life in full confidence of each step and move they make.  For others, it is a daily quest wrought with wins and losses.  I am most assuredly closer to the latter than the former.  We live in a society that applies labels to people faster than Amazon can deliver a package. In fact, right now, typing this, I can be labeled a blogger.  I also have the honor of holding the labels - wife, mom, step-mom, daughter, daughter-in-law, cousin, friend, employee, the list goes on and on.  It, without a doubt, has no true end. Despite all these labels, I have one that has been mine since birth -  my name. I was blessed with a plain name. It has no frills, no elegance behind it, it is boring, and quite frankly I've hated it since I was old enough to know how to. I have often wondered at what level of disdai

I want to be upfront here - I hate waiting. I have never been good at it.  Well, not entirely true.  I don't mind waiting at the doctor's office, in line, in traffic, or on the phone.  Probably because I have my phone with a million and one books downloaded but besides that, I don't wait well. So, what has the Lord done for me lately?  Why, bless His heart! He's given me opportunity after opportunity after opportunity (because just one wasn't enough) to learn how to wait. Truth be told, I'm an ugly waiter-er; it's sort of along the lines of ugly crying (we all know how that looks). But instead of streams of tears and booger-snotting everywhere, ugly waiting has things like short tempers, frazzled nerves, and a general dislike for life.  In other words, it is just as messy.  Instead of leaving a mess on someone's shoulder you tend to leave a mess, in general.  Granted, it's not intentional - at least in my case - but messy none-the-less. You see,

I woke up to an empty house this morning.  The Mr. had to work - a special shout out to all the public service personnel who don't get holidays off, you are revered more than you know - at least in our household. All of our Littles spent New Year's Eve with their other parents, I'm sure they are all going to be joyously sleep deprived when they get home this afternoon.  That leaves me and the dog chilling on the couch, surrounded by the beautiful silence that comes from a still home. I thoroughly enjoy these hours, the ones where I can have time in the Word and then time in reflection and thought. (I try to wake up early each morning for this reason alone.) I'm reading in Psalms right now.  I cannot begin to tell you how much I love where I am in the Bible.  It is like each word is speaking directly to my heart and current situation.  One of the things I do when I read is write in the margins what I am praying about, what I hear the Lord speaking to me on, and my grat