Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Finding the Right Word

As I was driving down the road today I got to thinking ( I know this is typically where all bad ideas begin) and it struck me that I have a very minuscule vocabulary.  I mean, the English language is riddled with beautiful words and though, I think I have a profound grasp on it, I do not.  I use the same vocabulary over and over in the hopes of expressing myself enough that it sticks; somehow, someway.  I digress. Words, beautiful words, words that are fluid and flowery, words which curve intricately through time and space much like the smells emanating from the vendor carts along food alley at a county fair. 

What makes a word good?  Is it one that has special meaning?  One that is obscure and obtuse?  One that covers a brevvy of areas in its quest to be all inclusive?  Are their words like this? 

Therefore, dear reader, as I keep this entry uncharacteristically short, what is your favorite word and why?

Mine, in case you are wondering, is: forgiven.  Why?  Because, though I was lost, I am now found and not because of who I am but because of who He is and and not because  of what I've done but because of what He did.  I don't think there is a more profound word.

Monday, September 26, 2011

20 Thoughts About my Day

Have you ever had a day when the subjects you bounce in and out of are as random as the people on this planet?  Well, today was my day and here is just a bit of the randomness that happens in my brain.

1.  Coupons are a way to get you to spend money you never would have in the first place.
2.  I read today in my devotional that spending without a budget will make you broke, perhaps I need a budget.
3.  Batteries for 2002 Chrysler Town & Country's are not cheap.
4.  Sometimes I just want to play hooky from work, but I'm too guilt ridden to try it.
5.  Some people love spontaneous gestures, many do not.
6.  Cranky old people should not be made the center of a joke.
7.  There are fortunate people who do not look at all like their age, particularly men.
8.  Public schools are not centers for learning, rather centers for the ravaging of parents' bank accounts.
9.  Never assume because you have agreed on something verbally that it will take place.
10.  There are people that have no morals, I seem to find one everyday.
11.  My heart aches for a friend who lost a loved one.
12.  My prayers go out to a friend who is asking for the first time I can remember for them.
13.  Sometimes a phone call is all it takes to put a smile on someones face.
14.  A voice can trigger the most beautiful of memories and longing for parts of childhood that are long gone.
15.  Children have a beautiful way of looking at the mundane.
16.  Talent surrounds us, I saw it at the fair grounds judging hall today.
17.  Making of lists in no way means your day will go as planned.
18.  Peace has to come from within.
19.  Procrastination is not a valid form of expediency.
20.  Some books just hit too close to home.

Sunday, September 25, 2011

The First Move

For those who have stumbled across this blog or specifically chose to read it; think back on your most recent relationship.  Do you remember the first day you met this person?  Who initiated the relationship?  OK, now if applicable, look at previous ones, who was the one to initiate those?  I am the one who initiated the relationship with my current husband, my previous one, and every boyfriend/date I had prior to that.  I can say with 99% certainty that I have never been asked out.  (I secretly wonder what it would feel like to know someone liked me enough to do that. But anyhow...)  The real reason that I am asking this has everything to do with my devotions this morning.

I am in James, yes still, and James 4:7-8 really hit home.  "Submit yourselves, then, to God, resist the devil, and he will flee from you.  Come near to God and he will come near to you.  Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded."  It was the "Come near to God and He will come near to you" that had me.  Why?  Well, for all of my "dating" years I was the one to initiate a relationship.  I would walk right up to the person and say something like: "hey, you want to go to a movie?"  Yet, with God I seem to want Him to make the first move.  I want Him to take the initial step.  But why?  Subconsciously I am telling myself it is because I am tired of being the one to make the first move, but honestly it may be because I'm scared.

Scared, that taking that first step and "asking God out on a date" will require me to be someone else.  Of course this is irrational thinking because God never changes the good characteristics of a person, only the bad ones.  However, I think it is my bad ones that are the most comfortable to me.  After all, they have been my security blanket for quite a few years.  I'm going to have to think on this, I mean, I want the relationship to grow.  I already have His number, so to speak, and know how to contact Him at any time, but that first step just seems so hard.  Seriously, what IF He said no?  Yeah, I know, He never says no to the right things.

Wish me luck...

Friday, September 23, 2011

The Price of Vanity

Have you ever gotten a truly BAD haircut?  I mean one that had you running straight for the door of the salon so fast while at the same time assuring the stylist you just LOVE what she did?  No?  Well, lucky you!  For me, this just happened tonight.  It started as an innocent thought.  I just had a great party (I sell GC candles) and thought I would surprise my girls by taking them to get their hair cut and styled.  Of course, going with the flow of things, I too MUST get my hair cut.  I should have known it wasn't going to be good when...

... at 5pm we walk into the salon, there are only 2 stylists on the clock and we are instantly told it would be "45 minutes so jsut put your names down and leave and come back".  So, being it girls night, I treat the girls to a dinner of their choice.  (I can't go wrong here, right?  After all they are kids!)  We end up 3 shops down getting Subway.  This would have been a simple endeavor had my toddler not needed to be held the whole time, the oldest two not fought over the fact that they just could NOT get the same toppings and then the whole ordeal of getting through a meal without someone inevitably wearing some of it.

We get through dinner, sort of, and at about 530 we head back to the salon and the remaining 15 minutes of the 45 minute wait turns into 35 minutes and the kids are getting restless; I mean REALLY restless.  Finally my oldest gets called over and promptly tells the stylist she wants her hair short.  The stylist, thankfully, has the right mind to look at me and raise her eyebrow.  After the lengthy discussion of how short "short" would be she gets underway.  As she begins cutting I have flashbacks to when she was 3 and decided she was going to cut her own hair.  I still shutter at what it looked like and vowed NEVER to let it get abover her shoulder blades for as long as she lives in my house.  She lost over 7 inches of hair tonight...I'm still trying to deal with it.

About 5 minutes into her hair cut my middle daughter is called.  She is my uber girly-girl and promptly began showing the stylist with her hands what she wanted, and I agree it sounds fine and walk back to keep an eye on my toddler, who by this time has all but tore the salon to pieces.  My oldest daughter asks for more length to be cut off, I agree to a bit in the back and then I look over and my middle daughter is having a breakdown.  I mean come on, she is 7 years old and you would THINK she was dying.  Apparently too much was taken off the sides so I ask  the stylist to trim up the back to make it kind of layer. My daughter on the other hand decides she wants it really short and spikey...SPIKEY!  Where does she get this? I'm thinking to myself and promptly ask her, and the only response a parent dreads is this: "well this is how my friend _______ has hers cut."  Uh-huh!  Well, mom won this one and she is still not talking to me because apparently she looks stupid and all the kids are going to laugh at her.  When in actuality she looks beautiful and just like a 7 year girl should look.

Finally, after 2 emotionally draining haircuts I sit to start mine.  I should have known straight away it was going to stink when I agreed to forgo the wash because the kids were getting irritable.  I should have just got up and left and come back by myself on another day, but oh no, not me, the master of let's get it all done in one trip.  I now not only have virtually the same style as I was trying to get RID of, but it is also 5 inches shorter!  SHORTER!  I DO NOT looks good.  So now, as I am having an internal breakdown, because at this point I can't reinforce the behavior I just reprimanded my middle daughter for, I want to kick myself in the butt for not thinking this one through.  Ah, the price of vanity...I suppose I will just have to wait for it to grow back and start again!

Monday, September 19, 2011

Starting Over Takes Want To

By starting over, I don't me with my life, per se.  I can't rightly become an infant again anymore than I can redo yesterday.  In fact I can't even undo any of my past choices.  However, what I can do it chose today as a day to start over in a key area of my life; a life that was created and wanted before it came to be.  What I mean by this is my walk with Christ.  In case you haven't picked up on all the subtlety in the past few posts I have been noticing a great divide in my life, a chasm that needs filled and I know that the only substance that has the power to fill my Grand Canyon-esque valley is the living water, the truth of life.  I'm not trying to be poetic or flowery, I'm trying to put it into words the only way that I know how to.

I often wonder if God has you do a few certain things in life, against your knowledge, that will redirect your path.  Here is why I ask that.  I shared yesterday the three book series that I just finished.  This series really, really, really has me thinking.  It created a longing in my to search for that thing that I am missing, the answer to the all consuming void.  I also think, that though, getting sick is not fun, it happened to give me the time to read these books, simply because God knows me better than I know me and he knows that I love to read, that books are closer to me than people and also that I take written words to heart.  Oftentimes, too literally.

I sat here today consumed by this need, this hunger and thirst to have an answer.  I prayed for God to direct me path on what scripture to read. As up to this point, I had decided to re-read the Bible from covereth to covereth, and am hopelessly failing.  I think the reason for that is I lack the discipline to do it and there are other things that may need my attention.  Anyway, to my point.  I prayed as I opened to where I left off in Isaiah and got no response.  Then I flipped to Matthew, as that is typically where new Christians are directed and again felt no response.  Then I landed on James, divinely, I can't say, but I did and there I began reading.  Man was I convicted. 

James 1:13-15 essentially says that God does not tempt, no he cannot even be tempted.  In fact, the temptations occur when personal evil desires drag us away and entice us.  It is after this desire is conceived that sin is born. ~ WOW!  I cannot even begin to tell you the number of things that flooded to my brain once I read this passage.  I allow temptation because of my evil desires.  Funny how simple something like reading instead of spending time with your children can be an evil desire.  (It is called selfishness!)

James 1:22-25 essentially says that we are not to only listen to the word of God but also do what it says.  The analogy of looking at yourself in the mirror and yet forgetting what you look like was a refreshing take on what the passage means.  Seriously, how many times in a day do you glance at yourself only to do it again because you have forgotten a detail.  Makes you wonder!

James 1:26 Here was the sinker for me... "If anyone considers himself religious but does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless."  Um...if you are trying to catch my parallel to this one read my 3o random facts posts...sheesh I feel like I was hit by a mack truck with this passage.

Proverbs 10:19 (I was led here because I know that Proverbs has a lot to say about the tongue and this is the first passage that I came to in reference to the tongue that I had previously underlined.)  "When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise."

I can't say if I will never detour from the path again, only God knows what it truly at the heart of a person, but all I can say is that in the past week all these variables have led up to this point.  A point that I know I wouldn't have reached on my own, but that I was searching for.  I hope that I can continue to draw on His strength and be the person that He has designed me to be.  (Which by the way is a Super scary thought...I like control!)

Sunday, September 18, 2011

A Good Book

OK, so I just completed a series written by a 20-something Christian author who penned the books for girls in their late teens and early twenties, or at least that is what I gathered from the details on Amazon. (I started reading it because book one was a free book choice on Amazon's kindle list, which lead me to spend the other $10 on books 2 & 3...yes they are that good!)  Anyhow the series had three books, is called the Lauren Holbrook Series, and well, I am in love.  In love with the author's writing style, the characters she created, and the fact her books are saturated in scripture.  Now, don't take that negatively, as that is a good thing.  However, like all things that you love, there are also those things that you hate, be it the item's yin/yang.  Here is my "hate" list (I know that is harsh and I don't really mean it like that anyway):

I hate that real life isn't like this.  No, seriously, there is no way that real life has people who out and out are happy and joyful and downright content with who they are and where they end up.

I hate that in books, there is always a sweet proposal scene.  I mean come on, not everyone gets proposed to that ends up married.  OK, OK, yes I am a bit bitten here as I haven't been proposed to and I have been married going on 10 years.  (It's a long story and frankly embarrassing because it leads me to believe and feel as if it was never really wanted in the first place, and I suppose that after all these years I should really just let it go, but...)

I hate that due to choices I made I didn't have the opportunity to have a beautifully planned, laid out wedding, with the colors I wanted, etc etc and now will never have the opportunity to redo it.  (But am thankful for those who helped make it what it was.)

I hate that dating is always perfect in story books.  My husband and I never dated and still 10 years later have never dated.  I often wonder what it would be like?  Would we really have anything to talk about or would it be like it now, a day full of no conversations?

I hate that in books, the hero and heroin are always so perfect for each other, regardless of what their backgrounds are, they make it work and are perfect for it.  Real life in no way, shape or form is like this.  Perhaps that is why I love my stories...I like to read about perfection.

I hate that this particular series had God at the forefront of everything and that in all things He was the main deciding factor in all choices.  OK, so I really don't hate that at all.  No, rather, I love that.  What I hate is that I didn't know God earlier in my life to let Him direct my path and chose the right things for me; rather, I took life upon myself and am now asking Him to clean up my mess.

I hate that I always end a wonderful series yearning for more; more of the author, more of the characters, more of the story line, more of my life to be like what I just read.

Of course, after all this "hate" I do have one thing to say.  (OK, more like a few, but honestly, you all know me by now.)  There will always be another book series that will have me thinking another way.  The God who helped this talented young lady discover her gifts is the same God who will help me find mine, should I take a moment and spend my time reading the Good Book and not just a good book.  That the life I have is the one of my making and it will only ever be what I make it; therefore, I must somehow enjoy what it is for I have done nothing to change it.  Lastly, I will never be a character in a story, even though there is a Christian song that says God wants to make a Bible story out of me (and you too of course!)

Friday, September 16, 2011

Thinking

So as I was perusing Amazon's free book titles this morning... yes, I know it is a Friday and I should be at work, but I have had this head cold for 10 days and it is getting worse, not better so I think I will go to the doctors.  Late is better than never, in some cases.  Anyway, back to the Amazon thing.  Right.  So, there is nothing worth getting from the free list that I haven't already gotten, but as I was scrolling away my eye caught a fun title on the books that cost list.  (This is how I classify it, work with me here.)  So this book, which is by a British author, is titled, "I Don't Know How She Does It: The Life of Kate Reddy, Working Mother."  Naturally, this led me to wanting to read the descriptioin, and well, now I want to buy it.  But for more reasons than the whitty lines in the text.  After all, I am a working mom and I do enjoy a good work of fiction.

Then, due to my penchant for drawing parrallels to everything and and my need to dissect thought, I reflected on what I do in a week's time.  I look at my work schedule, my school schedule, my family schedule, etc and then I think hmmm...is there anything whitty about my life?  Anything that would be considered funny, interesting enough to read about?  Nah.  Now, I do like to attempt humor, sometimes I succeed, mostly I do not.  I think the reason is my audience.  I struggle with that, saying the right thing at the right time.  Who doesn't?  Do you remember in You've Got Mail where Kathleen Kelly (meg Ryan's character) and Joe Fox (Tom Hanks character) talk about saying the right thing at the right time?  Allow me to share:

Joe Fox: [talking via email to "Shopgirl"] Do you ever feel you've become the worst version of yourself? That a Pandora's box of all the secret, hateful parts - your arrogance, your spite, your condescension - has sprung open? Someone upsets you and instead of smiling and moving on, you zing them? "Hello, it's Mr Nasty." I'm sure you have no idea what I'm talking about.
Kathleen Kelly: [talking via email to "NY152"] No, I know what you mean, and I'm completely jealous. What happens to me when I'm provoked is that I get tongue-tied and my mind goes blank. Then, then I spend all night tossing and turning trying to figure out what I should have said. What should I have said, for example, to a bottom dweller who recently belittled my existence?
[stops and thinks]
Kathleen Kelly: Nothing. Even now, days later, I can't figure it out.
Joe Fox: Wouldn't it be wonderful if I could pass all my zingers to you? And then I would never behave badly and you could behave badly all the time, and we'd both be happy. But then, on the other hand, I must warn you that when you finally have the pleasure of saying the thing you mean to say at the moment you mean to say it, remorse inevitably follows.

Well, that is me; the remorse part that is.  I always say what I am thinking, be it the right time or not.  I do not apply filters; thus not always coming up with a whitty statement.  Well, it may be whitty, but only to me.  I fall flat.  I ineveitably offend someone, make them think I am not someone who they want to be around. Now, at least I am being true to myslef, or perhaps I am just mean?  Who knows; after all, I was just thinking...

...and now you know where thinking gets me.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

30 Random Facts About Me

Hey, it's my blog so I can type what I want.  After all, it's your choice to read it!

1.  My favorite color is white.  Yes, I understand that that is actually the absence of color, but it is what it is.

2.  I love to think about things; deeply.  In other words, I will dissect something until there is nothing left.

3.  I love quietness.  In fact, the joy of only hearing the fan blades turning and my fingers typing on the keyboard right now is FANTASTIC!

4.  I have regrets.  I may share them - or not.

5.  I love Dodge brand vehicles because they are all sexy looking.  No other make/model can hold a candle to the design.

6.  I second guess myself all the time.

7.  I really don't have all the answers.

8.  Just once I'd like to not have to make all the decisions and feel safe and comfortable with the person who is.

9.  I'd like to drastically change my life, but fear keeps me from doing it.

10.  I used to have a dream, now I have a life.

11.  When I was a child I wanted to be a teacher.  To this day thinking about that makes me want to cry because I find great joy in helping others learn.

12.  I have read the Bible from covereth to covereth and can't find the discipline to do it again.

13.  I want a deeper walk with God.

14.  I want to want a deeper walk with God.

15.  I wish God would force the issue without a lot of trials.

16.  I hate that my degree is in Business.

17.  I hate that I am working on another business degree.

18.  I'd rather read a book than do anything else.

19.  I don't watch t.v. - I think it is a waste of time.

20.  I love playing in the kitchen.

21.  I'm a lousy housekeeper.

22.  My children aren't perfect, but I love them anyway.

23.  I'm not a perfect mom, but I hope they love me anyway.

24.  I keep my guard up all the time; it is found in the way I present myself and what I say.

25.  I would like to go to a psychiatrist - someone must know what is wrong with me.

26.  I abhor jokes at the expense of others and do not like stupid comedy.

27.  I am a black and white person because I have found colors get messy.

28.  I'm still searching for that "thing".

29.  I am an emotional eater; therefore, my weight is an extension of the emotions I have.

30.  I am a realist.

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Looking Back

I know there are hundreds of thousands of people sitting back today remembering where they were and what they were doing when the terrorist attacks began on September 11, 2001.  I am one of them, and here is my story.

I had gotten off of work at 7am (I was on third shift at the time) and was on my way to school in Fort Wayne.  I had just decided that summer to go back and start to make something of myself; after all, it was 5 years since I graduated high school and many in my peer group had already received their bachelors and several were enrolled in graduate school.  2001 was a big year for me.  It was the year I found out my ex husband had a girlfriend (thus making him my ex), I met my current husband and became pregnant with my oldest child.  Anyway, as I was heading into the city listening to Bob and Tom I realized I was dangerously low on gas so, I stopped at a little gas station off the beaten path, filled up and got back into the car.  When I turned the radio back on I entered in mid story.  And if you have ever listened to Bob and Tom you know that their stories are, well, not always the best and they often prank on the live radio; therefore, I thought that was what was happening.

Boy was I wrong.  I kept hearing more and more, but still wasn't quite sure what was going on.  In some ways it reminded me of what folks must have thought back in the 40s when Orson Wells' War of the World was read over the radio.  Once I got to campus the administration had wheeled televisions out into the commons areas as well as many classrooms, and that is when I realized this wasn't a prank, no, this was terror.  This was worse than any horror movie or story I could think of.  My country, our country, was being attacked because of some unknown reason; mostly because of who we are.

I continued on to my class.  I had Math 100 level something (pre-calculus) and no one could concentrate.  The professor, I can't remember her name now, didn't even try to teach, she just let us talk.  There was a girl in my class whose father worked at the Pentagon, her phone, needless to say rang off the hook that morning due to many of her family members trying to find out if she had heard from her dad.  I'd like to say I know what happened to her father, and even to her, but that was the last day she came to class.  I sincerely hope she had a happy ending, though I will never know.

Now, here it is, 10 years later and I'm still enrolled in school (3 major changes and a degree later) and I can remember almost every detail.  I'm sure over the years more and more will fade, but then again, maybe not.  Great tragedy has a way of impacting people, of imprinting images and facts on the brain. 

We had a beautiful service at church this morning.  The offertory and special song were done in remembrance of the day, but though the song/music was beautiful it is the pictures that got to me.  You really don't know what is at the heart of a person until you see them for who they really are and more so when it is caught on film.  Click here for some picuters.

Here are two that make the tears flow for me (they are a couple of the most well known.)


I have nothing else to say, save for may God bless you as you remember this day.

Friday, September 9, 2011

Looking for My Hat

This past week I have been strangely disappointed.  Disappointed in a lot of things, but mainly in myself.  How many people look for, search for, yearn for their place in the world and actually find it?  How many have found their true identity and are pleased with what it looks like?  Well, those two questions are why I am strangely disappointed in myself.  What is my place?  Where is my place?  What will I look like when I get there?  Have I already seen myself and scoffed at the reflection because I was looking for more?  That is truly the answer isn't it?  More.  There is never enough.  More.  This constant quest for more is what leads to the circular reasoning of never getting to the place I have already been yet cannot find again.

What drives this?  Why am I so afraid to be who I really am?  Do I really know who I am?  There are so many hats that I want to wear, so many that really do fit and so many that look so cool.  Have you seen "You've Got Mail" with Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks?  That is my favorite movie.  One of the lines that I love the most is when Kathleen, Meg's character,  is talking to Joe aka NY152, Tom's character, and says: "Once I read a story about a butterfly in the subway, and today, I saw one! It got on at 42nd and off at 59th, where, I assume, it was going to Bloomingdale's to buy a hat that will turn out to be a mistake, as almost all hats are." Where am I going with this?  Well, I have wondered a lot this week about if some of the hats that I am wearing are mistakes?  Am I still searching for that sale at Bloomingdale's where I can buy yet another one that will also turn out to be a mistake?

Don't take this the wrong way, as I am sure some of you are.  These hats don't involve my family per say; these hats involve me and choices I've made and possibly will make.  For instance, do I want a Raspberry Beret or will my floppy ol' sun hat work just fine?  In other words, do I need a prestigious position in life, and all that comes with it or is the one where I have the honor of raising three precious little girls and teaching them to find their perfect hats in which they will get to pass on, so on and so on fit just fine?  The first one looks great, the price is unbeatable on the sale rack, but once you put it on, you realize it costs more than you have, but sadly all sales are final.  The chintzy looking straw hat has a whopping price tag yet pays you back daily.

Then there is my kingdom hat.  This hat is ever more precious, because it is really a crown.  You see, I know that God loves me, He sent Jesus for me (you too!).  You may be wondering why I am being pompous enough to talk about a crown, well, God is the king and as his child that makes me a princess and all princess' get a crown!  Sadly, I haven't been wearing mine.  Oh, I'm sure it is breathtaking and I know He wants me to have it.  I don't even have to really pay for it; he did that for me.  But I have only been looking at it.  Why?  First, my Raspberry Beret is too big for the crown to fit on top of and too tight for it to fit under.  Second, because it is so heavy.  Heavy how?  I've made it so by running around in circles looking for, searching for, yearning for something that is mine to grab and put on.  And this is all because I am scared.  I am afraid of what this hat will require of me, of the person it will make of me.  Of the semi quasi-comfort zone I've made for myself.

Why a semi quasi-comfort zone?  Because I'm really not living comfortably in my anger, my bitterness, my jealousy, my pride, my fears, but I'm living this way because these hats have fit for so long.  They are my beanies, my ball caps, my snow hats.  They are the hats that have "protected" me with their false sense of security.  However, I want to fly freely and flutter about; hopping on at 42nd and getting off at 59th were I will most assuredly place the crown exactly where it should be because all gifts should be accepted with gratitude and a smile, and I really didn't need to go to that sale at Bloomingdale's anyhow.

Saturday, September 3, 2011

Old Cars

There is just something about old cars.  I'm not talking about the one I drive, which being a 2002 would be considered old, I'm talking those cars that were made before me, my mom, and in some cases my grandma.  These cars are classics.  I may not seem the type to get excited about old cars, but I do.  I can appreciate the passion that went into the design, the tastefully selected color schemes, the artistry of the details, the engineering of the engine, drive train, and internal gauges.  I mean, these cars were the front runner of modern technology; each one though assembled was still done by hand.  There was not a single robot to touch them. 

Then there are the people who have lovingly restored them; worked themselves to the bone to bring back that note of history.  These people found love in the passion the designer had and took what years have taken away from it and given the car back its life.  I may never own one, but I can surely appreciate a fine machine. 

This year I took a little different approach to my photo taking.  I decided to highlight where they are all from since each car is as diverse as the owner.  Therefore, you aren't going to see lots and lots of detail shots (which if I had this blog in years past that is all that you would have seen).  Nope, you are going to get back ends!  OK, they are the rear shots showing the license plates.  Some of these cars have a lot of "trunk space" if you will, some are just plain "sassy", while some are what they are, the tail end of a car - a very nice car at that.

Enjoy!

1. Alabama - No Car       

2. Alaska - No Car       

3. Arizona        

4. Arkansas - No Car       

5. California        

6. Colorado        

7. Connecticut        

8. Delaware - No Car      

9. Florida - Can't find the picture :(        

10. Georgia - No Car       

11. Hawaii - No Car        

12. Idaho - No Car       

13. Illinois        

14. Indiana        

15. Iowa - No Car        

16. Kansas        

17. Kentucky - No Car       

18. Louisiana        

19. Maine        

20. Maryland        

21. Massachusetts        

22. Michigan        

23. Minnesota        

24. Mississippi - No Car        

25. Missouri        

26. Montana No Car       

27. Nebraska - No Car       

28. Nevada - No Car       

29. New Hampshire - No Car       

30. New Jersey        

31. New Mexico - No Car       

32. New York        

33. North Carolina        

34. North Dakota - No Car       

35. Ohio        

36. Oklahoma        

37. Oregon        

38. Pennsylvania        

39. Rhode Island        

40. South Carolina - No Car       

41. South Dakota - No Car       

42. Tennessee        

43. Texas        

44. Utah - No Car       

45. Vermont        

46. Virginia        

47. Washington        

48. West Virginia        

49. Wisconsin - No Car       

50. Wyoming - No car