I Read Too Much

Have you ever noticed that the more you want to talk to someone the more likely it is that no one is there to talk to?  As of late, I find this to be, increasingly more, the case.  I also wonder if this incessant need to talk to someone has more to do with the fact that technology allows me to do so in ever varying ways.  For instance I can call, text, IM, email, FB, or something akin to that.  However, all those avenues do not mean there is actually someone on the other side to reply.  This lack of response leads to even more desperation to reach out; like this insane craving for a fix.  I'm sure a junkie could relate to this; however, this fix isn't a chemical one, ok perhaps it is to some degree, though not of the lab created kind but more the phsyiological kind.  So there I was today, leaving work and wanting more than ever to share my day with someone. I wanted to share all that had occurred but there was no one there.  I tried my bestie, but due to the time zone differe

This is the list of books I actually finished in 2011. I started many and finished most. Some held my interest and some were a complete waste of time. I learned a few things that were of value and learned some things that I really could have went my life without knowing. Some of these were well written, while others not so much. I can't say I plan to have such high reading expectations for myself again, but never-the-less, here are the previous year's litterary accomplishments. (OK, the picture is coming across as a just a tad too rosey!) 50 Ways to Hex Your Lover 6 Rainier Drive 13 Little Blue Envelopes A Chance in Time A Fair of the Heart A Fair to Remember A Fool Again A Husband for Margaret A Knight to Remember A Lesson in Forgiveness A Lesson in Friendship A Lesson in Passion A Lesson in Patience A Lesson in Presumption A Little Magic A Stranger in the Family A Suitor for Jenny A Taste of Magic All I Want for Chris

There are times in life when you get so exited only to be let down.  Sometimes this is done slowly and yet other times, it is so abrupt you don't know how to respond until you've realized you are paralyzed from the intensity of the bruise on your ego.  I know that as a grown up there should be a level of comprehension and understanding that regardless of your best laid plans, intentions, hopes, and dreams, that the chance of having those taken from you is there.  It hurts no less than when a kid is promised a day at an amusement park and it is taken from them.  It is one of those things that makes being a grown up so hideously horrible.  I am in this moment, or rather, just a couple of hours ago in this frame of mind.  I can't say that I didn't expect it.  Heaven's after 30+ years of life it is one of those things I should know the most, never, ever, get your hopes up.  But I did.  Why?  Because it involved one of my biggest passions; learning.  I love to learn. 

I couple months back I read a book called, "So Long, Insecurity" by Beth Moore.  That book made me laugh (out loud even at times), cry (a deeply painful sob), hope (for better tomorrows and better todays), and yearn (for more after the last page).  The book had such an impact on me.  I felt closer to myself after I read it, but also closer to other women, and before you misunderstand me, I mean I felt closer in that I understood motivations more.  You see, I am downright scared of new environments.  I am scared of meeting new people, even if we had met years before.  I am scared of saying the wrong thing, being the wrong person, not having big enough dreams, a big enough house, nice enough clothes, perfect enough children.  This book took me past that, and for the days and weeks after reading it I felt almost this ethereal sense of kindredness with womankind. In such, I felt that in the end we could all sit around and sing kumbyah and share cocoa, you know, the kind with the