I Read Too Much

Almost 3 years ago I started a 30 day challenge and then my life turned upside down.  In those subsequent months I found words and strength and advice that I know only came from the good Lord above.  That said, a few days ago I came across a blog (I dearly love blogs) that detailed a woman's journey to finding her inner writer, her desire to become one.  I took notes, as I am often apt to do, and from there decided that I too, would start on this journey to become a writer.  After all, wasn't it Lao Tzo that said, "A journey starts with a single step" or in this case a single word?! To share what I read/learnt: 1. Make a goal. Umm, hello, as with all things in life this is a good start. 2. Try out your goal before committing.  Ok, I'm a runner.  Or at least I was until, well, other things deterred me from it, but I am.  I am a runner.  One of the biggest things with running is that you have to...let me stress this...HAVE TO make a go...

Have you ever had so many things on your mind at once that you couldn't clearly articulate one thought?  That is how my mind is today.  There are so many things going on up there that I don't know how to sort them out and make them make sense.  I use this blog as my tool to try! Please understand that I want to keep this blog upbeat-ish and happy.  I want it to be a source of encouragement and hope.  I want it to be a place you come back to because you care to see what is written.  However, there may be days where I fail.  Where the ugliness of what is going on in my life spews out negatively.  In those moments just know that hurt brings out a lot.  Pain hides nothing and in its quest to infect, its wounds are sometimes grotesquely evident. Here are a few of the pinballs (thoughts) that I have had bouncing around in my head for the last day or so.  Hope you find some wisdom, or at least comfort in them. Randomness: 1....

The foot traffic on this blog seems to be as up and down as my moods of late.  I'd like to say that I have an even-keel demeanor, but I'd hate to mislead you.  I've been contemplating this post for a couple of weeks now.  What to say and how to say it or rather what to share and how to share it.  I say a lot, most of it isn't shared!  I am fresh out of snarky witticism, but I do have a fairly good handle on, well, me. (At least momentarily...hehehe) 1. You can't make people like you, accept it and move on. 2.  Not everyone you meet will understand you.  The lengthy process of explaining yourself will get lost in translation. 3. Life will happen. 4. Politics are an evil necessity.  Being neither a Democrat nor a Republican makes it a lot more difficult in an election year. 5. Your life is your life, don't let someone else tell you how to live it. 6.  Accepting constructive criticism is often a hard pill to swallow. 7....

This time of year used to be something that I longed for.  Summers spent playing with my friends, swimming at the lake for hours, chasing fireflies, and staying out late (sometimes too late).  Now, it just isn't the same.  The freedoms that I had as a kid are no longer there.  Sure, I can go "play" with my friends, but they too have responsibilities and families to take care of.  I could go swimming, chasing fireflies, and stay out late, but all those things loose their appeal when you know the alarm clock is still going to go off at 4:45 in the morning.  Today was the last day of school for my oldest two children.  My middle daughter survived second grade and has received her pass into third.  My oldest, well, she has graced the halls of elementary school for the last time; she is now officially a middle schooler.  She has already started the summer out with a bang, a sleep over at a friend's house!  I took the other two to the librar...

I haven't written much lately, there's a reason for that. Perhaps it is my own self doubt, or the fact that I am simply lousy at the written word, but mostly it is not anything more profound than sheer laziness. I've had a couple of stress-free, ok, who am I kidding, let's actually go with less stressful, weeks since this last term in school let out. I feel kind of weird saying that, me being close to yet another birthday in my thirty-somethings, but age is just a number, right? It's a bit after 5 in the morning and I don't think I've had this kind of quiet clarity in months. There is something truly amazing about this time of day, in fact it is my favorite - in case you wanted to know.  A lot has happened around this place in the past four months, much of which I will never find the right way to put to words, but I know that it has had a tremendous impact on my family's lives. I digress, that isn't what I wanted to share this morning. (It see...

Have you ever struggled with doing the right thing?  Sure you have, you are human, right?  I sit here tonight tapping away at my keyboard pondering the results of doing, saying, and honoring the right things.  In fact, the right thing for me, and truth be told, my family too, may not always be the best thing for another, especially if that destroys a longtime relationship.  Perhaps that is going a bit too far, too fast.  So here, let me break it down.  Life is full of situations.  In fact, each and everyday starts with one.  You have the option to wake up or sleep in, put a smile on or a frown, be kind or be a jerk.  I know, you are probably thinking something like, "wait, these are choices, not situations."  I, in return, would capitulate and agree, BUT have you ever thought about the result of that choice?  That result is the situation.  So, I go back to my original question, have you ever struggled with...

I had a thought process I wanted to take today, but I couldn't seem to get all the letters and words to come together in a coherent manner.  Therefore, what I will do instead is share today's random thoughts.  They are after all, another form of eloquent prose! 1. Sometimes the search for answers takes you outside of Google's boundaries. 2. Relationships require more than words. 3. Blood family makes for a strong bond; don't underestimate the power it holds. 4. You can still love a person despite the choices they have made. 5. If you want unconditional love this side of eternity; get a dog. 6. Children are one of God's way of saying; "I think you can!" 7. There are times when you have to put your own wants aside for the other person's needs. 8. When things don't seem to be going exactly like you think they should, make sure the motives aren't purely selfish. 9. Wishin' and hopin', thinkin' and dreamin' are grea...

Have you ever woke up on the wrong side of the bed, and I don't mean geographically?  Today, I did.  I don't know what it was, perhaps it was the way the previous day ended, or that the new alarm clocks we just had to have don't work in the simplest manner, or perhaps because my toddler decided that she needed to crawl into bed with me halfway through the night thus destroying any chance at sleep I was going to get.  Whichever of the aforementioned it was, or wasn't, I am snarky.  Yes, this isn't a wildly recognized word, in fact it is one I only recently learned, but sakes alive it certainly has the character and unique enough sense to truly describe my attitude. Have you also noticed that on those exceptionally snarky days others tend to reach out to you more?  By this, I mean, every one and their cousin decides that it is the day they just have to text, email, call, IM, or otherwise contact you.  These are the days when a person can...

OK, so I started typing today with one point to make and realized that you can't force a subject.  True writing will flow when there are meant to be words on paper, or in this case letters in space.  When it comes down to it, I just have a list of random thoughts going through my head.  Perhaps a bir of my randomness will become a conversation starter for one of you out there, or perhaps not. 1) Wishing to be something doesn't always bring it to fruition. 2) Time is not relative, it moves regardless of who you are or what you are doing. 3) Submersion in anything will not make you an authority. 4) The answers aren't always in the back of the book. 5) People come and people go, what matters is that you remain the same. 6) Friends are those people who know the real you and still call to say "hi". 7) People can never be a replacement for God. 8) Heartbreak follows the former when you don't realize its truth. 9) Reading just the headlines will not give yo...

As I was driving down the road today I got to thinking ( I know this is typically where all bad ideas begin) and it struck me that I have a very minuscule vocabulary.  I mean, the English language is riddled with beautiful words and though, I think I have a profound grasp on it, I do not.  I use the same vocabulary over and over in the hopes of expressing myself enough that it sticks; somehow, someway.  I digress. Words, beautiful words, words that are fluid and flowery, words which curve intricately through time and space much like the smells emanating from the vendor carts along food alley at a county fair.  What makes a word good?  Is it one that has special meaning?  One that is obscure and obtuse?  One that covers a brevvy of areas in its quest to be all inclusive?  Are their words like this?  Therefore, dear reader, as I keep this entry uncharacteristically short, what is your favorite word and why? Mine, in ca...

Have you ever had a day when the subjects you bounce in and out of are as random as the people on this planet?  Well, today was my day and here is just a bit of the randomness that happens in my brain. 1.  Coupons are a way to get you to spend money you never would have in the first place. 2.  I read today in my devotional that spending without a budget will make you broke, perhaps I need a budget. 3.  Batteries for 2002 Chrysler Town & Country's are not cheap. 4.  Sometimes I just want to play hooky from work, but I'm too guilt ridden to try it. 5.  Some people love spontaneous gestures, many do not. 6.  Cranky old people should not be made the center of a joke. 7.  There are fortunate people who do not look at all like their age, particularly men. 8.  Public schools are not centers for learning, rather centers for the ravaging of parents' bank accounts. 9.  Never assume because you have agreed on something verbally that i...

Hey, it's my blog so I can type what I want.  After all, it's your choice to read it! 1.  My favorite color is white.  Yes, I understand that that is actually the absence of color, but it is what it is. 2.  I love to think about things; deeply.  In other words, I will dissect something until there is nothing left. 3.  I love quietness.  In fact, the joy of only hearing the fan blades turning and my fingers typing on the keyboard right now is FANTASTIC! 4.  I have regrets.  I may share them - or not. 5.  I love Dodge brand vehicles because they are all sexy looking.  No other make/model can hold a candle to the design. 6.  I second guess myself all the time. 7.  I really don't have all the answers. 8.  Just once I'd like to not have to make all the decisions and feel safe and comfortable with the person who is. 9.  I'd like to drastically change my life, but fear keeps me from doing it. 10....