Sunday, January 16, 2011

Boredom is a Dangerous Place for an Unstable Mind

So today my boys beat the SeaHawks!  Super sweet.  Next we play the Pack.  I truly hope we win.  If we play like we did the first half of today's game there shouldn't be much of an issue.  However, something tells me the game will be a blood bath.

I finished the book I talked about yesterday and am half way through another.  What can I say, I'm addicted to books.  Which brings me to what my mind keeps going to.  Today the message was on seeing people the way that God sees them.  That all people are the same in his eyes; poor and rich alike.  All people have the potential to be what God has designed them to be.  That stray thought came into my head again about writing.  Is this something that I am truly good at?  I mean I really would like to get a degree in English, even if I only take it as a minor.  Is this my passion?  Is this my talent?  Is this the tool in which God will use me to fulfill His will for my life?  I know my spiritual gifts are teaching and knowledge.  Do you have to be in a classroom setting to actually teach someone something?  Do I have to be in a classroom to gain true knowledge?  What degree does the Lord want me to get? 

As you can see I end up with more questions for my life than I do answers.  I long to have answers.  I long to have guidance.  I pray for the Lord to give me the desire to want to love Him more, the desire to simply want to want Him more.  He does repeatedly tell me that I need to spend more time with Him.  Yet, I find myself constantly drawn to everything else but.  I suppose the answer to all of my aforementioned questions lies in the answer I just gave.  I have no doubt that he will shape this vessel; after all, He has made the promise:  "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."  Jeremiah 29:11 

So as I sit here and contemplate all the things that I am not, long for all the things that I think it would be cool to be, and all the opportunities I long to have, I realize that I am where I am because this is where I am at.  Sounds distinctly circular in reasoning, I know, but sometimes, life has a way of coming around itself when the focus is taken off what it is not.

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