I Read Too Much

It's been months!  MONTHS since I've shared with you all.  Part of me has thought about you so often, my dear friends and readers who've read my tear stained words, who've triumphed with me, and who've wanted to box my ears on some occasions.  I've been here, but joyfully busy.  So much so, that I had to re-read my last post to find where I left you.  I didn't really leave you, you know, I was just simply gaining more information for my story.  My story.  Oh my word guys.  Hey you guys!!! (If you didn't just have a Goonies flashback you may not have had an epic childhood...I digress!) My story.  I have one.  One given to me by a God who has loved me and never left me.  I was given a story because God had the one...the perfect one to help fill the pages of a blank book he created before I even came to be.  I think the greatest thought behind all of that is knowing that he's done the same for us all.  Yep, even when you don'...

This past Saturday I crossed another first off of my running "bucket list".  This year has been wrought with many accomplishments as well as many set-backs for me, running wise.  I have shared with you my journey toward a 100 mile month, my joy in finally becoming a marathoner, and my heartache in being "benched" due to an ever common injury suffered by runners - a bum IT Band.  The road to recovery hasn't been easy.  In fact, it has been much harder than learning to run in the first place.  I mean, after all, I had to start over and that is NEVER an easy feat regardless of what it is you are starting over from.  But, that is a story for another time.  (Aren't they all?!?) I decided a couple of months ago the best way to not revert back to a coach potato was to sign up for as many races as I could - within financial reason of course.  Well, in the beginning, I ran a couple of 5Ks.  While I never reached, equaled, nor beat any...

A little over four weeks ago I set a new running goal.  I do that - sometimes.  I set goals.  I wouldn't like to admit I fail at most of them, but sometimes I am a bit more aggressive in thought than I am in action. Regardless, I set a goal to run 100 miles in 4 weeks time.  For some this isn't a hard goal.  In fact, many of the running pages that I follow, for them, this is a small amount of miles to achieve in a month, then for others the goal is equally as challenging. The point is, I did it.  For the first time ever I was able to finish my 100 mile goal.  I'd like to say that it was my marathon training that did it.  Truthfully it actually was.  (With a slight modification to have that many miles.) You see, there is something about the rigid training one has to go through to prepare for a race that long.  I've read many articles on line and in my running magazines that say training for a marathon is more than strapping on...

It started in November of 2012.  I couldn't eat.  I mean, my world had been upended.  The Mr. had walked away.  I didn't notice it at first.  Those first few pounds rarely are noticed, most especially when you are 80 pounds overweight.  (According to the BMI chart that is.)  By Thanksgiving of that year I noticed that my clothes were fitting just a bit looser. Then I thought, why not?  Why not start exercising? At first I did it for all the wrong reasons.  I thought what if I could loose weight, that would make him change his mind, right?  No.  It didn't.  But I didn't stop trying.  Work out after work out I spent thinking I could win him back by changing the way I look.  I mean that was a reason he ran away in the first place.  Come New Year's I had lost 22 pounds.  Yes, all because of my situation. In the end it didn't work, but my desire to stay in shape had been formed.  I started to run....

I'm going to be up front here, people are going to get mightily fed-up with hearing about my marathon.  Me, I can't wait.  Oh, don't get me wrong, I'm scared senseless.  I mean, the farthest I have ever ran at a given time is just shy of 18 miles.  This is 26.2!  YIKES!  That is a LOT of ground to cover at once.  I have a few goals for myself.  I am not sure if they are considered aggressive or not because I've not ran a race like this before. Regardless, my goals are below: 1) It is important to know that I am not qualifying for Boston.  I do not have a desire to qualify for Boston.  In fact, my biggest goal is to finish the race in an upright position!  So, that is goal number one; to cross the finish line with my own strength. 2) When I ran my first half I kind of had this lofty goal.  Then I was "educated" by others who have ran them before and I kind of adjusted my goal.  Let's just say I learned a lot on tha...

A while back I wrote to you about how I love to run.  I do.  I love to run.  It is one of the things that defines me.  In that post I was open about how I only run shorter distances, about how I seem to lose the energy when it comes to the long run.  That was then, this is now.  In the months since then, yes months, I have grown to enjoy the long run.  There is something altogether amazing about the long run, allow me to explain.  I am not a fast runner by any stretch of the imagination, but I am not really that slow either. I am kind of right there, in the middle.  Of course this doesn't mean that I'm not out there trying to improve with each step that I take.  I have ran many distances.  Short, quick, one mile out and back taking up roughly 15 minutes of my time all the way to just shy of an 18 mile loop, which I did at an average of 9:24min/mile pace a month or so ago.  (My next goal is a 20 miler)...

I run.  I run miles and miles and miles.  I'd like to say that I do it because I want to be a contender for the Boston Marathon, but I don't.  I run because when I am overwhelmed it is the one way I release that pent up energy.  This energy I speak of isn't always from having it to burn, but from an over abundance of feeling that I cannot get through.  Some people, like the one that I love, work with their hands, brute physical force, it is what they use to get through the feelings.  They can channel all that emotion and make beautiful things.  Me, I run. I'd like to say I'm making a beautiful thing.  Perhaps changing my shape could become that thing, but right now, it is a way to let go of the emotion that controls my life.  And it does.  I have been taken over by my emotions.  I had these in those early days and months.  Those days where I started to channel the energy into working out and getting healthier.  The healt...