Thursday, March 28, 2013


Each day that goes by my heart becomes more, well, something.  I've had highs and lows.  I've had expectations and regrets.  I've anticipated and regrettably been let down.  I've been comfortable on my own and suffered from extreme loneliness. Despite all of this I'm still a mess.  I still struggle.  I'm beginning to wonder when that struggle will end. Will it ever end?  So today I thought it was time to share what I'm looking for.  There are specific qualities that are major - a complete must.  These aren't things that a person can fake either, these are things that will be who they are.  These are what makes them, defines them.  Pretending doesn't allow for this.  Oh, change can happen, but time is the only real tell of that.  Honest. To. Goodness. Truth.

Dear future person:

First and foremost be honest and have integrity.  Please, above all else, do NOT lie.  Be who you say you are and do what you say you are going to do.  I have a great memory.  I use it.  If you say you're going to call.  Do.  If you say you're going to text.  Do!  (This is important in all relationships, not just boy/girl.)

Don't talk to me like you are auditioning for an X-rated movie.  I am not a "hot chick who has a smoking hot 'bod' to be 'ravaged'!  I am a woman, a lady.  Yes, compliments are nice and very welcome, but let's keep them on the up and up - like 'you look pretty' or 'you are beautiful'.  See, sooooo much better.  (Those tend to elicit more smiles anyway.)

Be self-supportive and self-sufficient.  Yes, this means you can take care of your person and stuff as well as your finances.  I am not a bank, don't ask.  I do not want to remind you what deodorant is or how to work a shower.  I do not want to clean up after you, I already have 3 children.

Be kind.  Be nice.  Be humble.  If you can't be these things bite your tongue, then talk.  Yes, I admit these are also areas I need work on.  I am.  Continuously.  Daily.  Sometimes more earnestly than others, but I am working on them.  Which brings me to the next thing.

Grow for yourself.  Each day.  Grow to be better than the person you were the day before.  I do not want you to change for me.  Change for you.  Because it is the right thing for YOU!  Because changing for me: animosity comes from that, regret comes from that, actually - NOTHING GOOD comes from that.  (I know...I've had many broken relationships because of this!)

Be willing to tell your friend(s) "NO" for one-on-one time with me.  Yes, even if it is spur of the moment.  And for the love of all things holy...DO NOT have your phone out when having dinner, etc with me.  NO, NO, NO, NO...rude much?!

Realize that no two people are exactly alike.  Yes, some interests can align.  Some hobbies, likes, dislikes, etc can mesh, BUT there will always be differences.  This is not a sign of incompatibility, it is a sign of uniqueness.  Embrace that, but don't hold it against me and I will not hold it against you.  Oh, and really, if it is that bad - we'll know!

Share.  Talk.  Be a person.  It's ok.  Really!!!  You cannot learn about another if you do not try to know the person.  If you are not a talker, well, perhaps you should keep walking, because I am! (Comfortable, compatible silence is also good...this happens when the talking isn't necessary.)

I have a brain.  Yes, I'm educated.  I'm intelligent.  Now, I don't know squat diddly about a lot of things, but there are others that I can hold my own on.  Don't be intimidated.  Correct me where I am wrong but listen to what I say.  And NEVER, EVER, ask me a question and then instantly do a Google search to see if I am right.  If I don't know the answer I WILL TELL YOU! 

And last, but certainly NOT least - love Jesus.  Don't love Him to the point where you only use His name in appropriate matters, but REALLY KNOW Him.  Love Him like He is your everything, because guess what...He is! 

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