Most of the time, and I know you will all agree, advice is not welcome. In fact, unsolicited advice is not only offensive, but a major turn on off. But then, there are times when maybe, just maybe, advice is needed. It isn't necessarily sought in a direct manner, but its received through a good conversation. I received some of that kind of advice today; good, solid, sound advice. It was packaged in a lovely, albeit too brief, conversation with my girl Tracie.
I've shared a couple times lately how God brings people into your life. Now, I've known Tracie for several years. We've hung out, had girl time, and talked briefly from time to time. Today, today Tracie ministered to me in many ways. She brought a sense of understanding to my confusion, a clarity to my murkiness, and a peace to my internal war. She did all this by simply using her words. Her knowledge. Her inside view of what I am going through. True, no two people have the same problem or go through the same situation in the same way, but sometimes there is just enough the same that advice is formed, created.
I've had some struggles these past weeks. I've had many of them actually. My biggest? Myself. My biggest struggle is with myself. My thoughts. My wants. My desires. My God. Yes, I've warred with Him. Oh, I know my troubles aren't of His making, He didn't force this situation, but He is waiting to see how I react to it. And that is it. I'm not reacting well. Not now. Not in the recent past weeks. I mean, I was in the beginning. During those initial months we were walking side by side, hand in hand, or in some cases He was carrying me. But now. Now, He is missing. Oh, I know He hasn't gone anywhere, but I know it is due to my lack of seeking. My lack of wanting that constant companionship, because I have wanted it in other forms. I've wanted to speed Him along by doing things my way.
Those forms are other things. Other people. Other-ness. So I asked. I asked is this right? Should I think like this? Am I wrong? Am I not a good enough Christian? Am I being a bad person? Ok, I need to clarify something because I know that there are people who are reading this who are forming their own ideas about what I am speaking of...DON'T! DO NOT put your words to mine. I'm sharing the truth of what it is right now in my transparency. You want to know what she told me? She told me that no, I'm not a bad Christian. I am not wrong. I just need to regain my focus. I need to stop searching in all the wrong places. I need to let God do what only God can do. What ONLY He can do.
What only He can do takes time. Not mine, obviously. His. His timing. His perfectly precise timing. So, I need to turn back to my Bible, back to my Jesus, back to the stone that I stood firmly on in those beginning months. I need to go back to the one person who truly wants the best for me and will only tell me real truths, not those which will benefit them. Tracie reminded me of this. She KNOWS what I feel, how I feel, what I'm going through. That is why I can trust her words. I'm sharing this with you with the hopes that you can use this sound advice too.
Oh, I know that you didn't ask. I know this is unsolicited, but you did click over to this blog for a reason. So please understand, this walk, this journey, this road I'm on is going to look different at different times. It is going to be bold, blunt, forward, and perhaps even funny. But it is simply going to be me in written form.
And sometimes it will be sound advice.