Words are powerful things. Words, over time, can create emotion, feelings, and circumstances. Words are one of those things when not wisely administered or received can put you somewhere you never thought you would be. Words are also those things that will lift you up, carry you on wings like eagle's, and deliver the most beautiful of moments. Words.
It started with words. It started with conversation. One thought into another. One idea shared, one dream uttered, one truth over time becoming daily revelations of truths. Words shared continuously, never ceasing in some cases. I giggle at the amount of words; beautiful words, true and honest words. Not that they were funny, but that there were so many. Epic levels of words. EPIC!
And that is where the words turned into the longing for a call. An impromptu visit for a hug. And time. More time. Then the time lead to anticipation of more. So much more. It became me, falling. Falling hopelessly, deeply. I won't lie. I can't. But he did too. I will not deny myself this truth. And it was real. It was honest. It was. While it was. Even now. At least...
Then one day, a very important one day, after days, weeks even of not doing this, I prayed. I prayed hard. Tears streaming, nose dripping, heart aching, voice raising, deeply meant prayers. In fact, I remember pulling out of the end of my street, onto the main road leading out of town, past the building that would, in a couple hours from that time, hold an important meeting, and starting to pray. I prayed for him, for her, for them. For all of it. Yes, I selflessly prayed. I had to. I felt the desire to. I told him I would when he asked. I just let God lead the words.
And that is what it came to. Words. More words. Yet these words, they had an impact because God did what God always does. He listened. He listened to the words I was saying. He took them and grew them, he planted them, and used them. He was getting me to do what I not only promised to do, but to show that He was still in control. He always is.
And that day, that day was like a tsunami had hit. The ocean pulled back from shore, the tide swelled, and it came rushing back to shore with ginormous results. God had taken that prayer and answered it. Oh, he does that. He will always answer those prayers that are aligned to His will. He has to. It is in His nature and His nature never changes. However, He always does this in His timing. So, that day, when the shore changed, I didn't see it at first. I was lost helping pick up the debris. Then I noticed it. The next day, and the day after that, and the day after that. How?
The words. They started to dry up. The many, many words. The sweetly intoxicating, deeply moving, significantly heartfelt words started to dissipate. I tried to fight it with more words of my own. Pushing, pulling, and in the end, the writing, the words, they were on the wall. It was inevitable. It hurts, I'm sad, but I know that God is at work. If not in every way, at least in the way He should be. He is there, with His word. The ones penned centuries ago to share, to fill, to comfort. His words.
Today, I can't deny, because I am still raw with emotion, that I miss the sound of his voice, the calming and exciting feeling his words provided. But also, today, today I did get one thing. I got the answer I knew to be true, one that I will keep and hold on to, because truth, all three sides of it, are in those words. They are mine. They are his. They are full of past tense.
So, friends, as I put these words down, know one thing, your words, no matter how simple or complex never fall unheard. You can't unspeak them. You can recant, retract, and work to negate, but once out they are there. And these, these are my words. The ones I can give of the ones I received.
Now I am left to rest firmly in the words that can heal, lift, build, and restore. The ones that can do so much for everyone. The ones that speak the undaunting truth in love and firmness. For the Bible says, "the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart." Hebrews 4:12.