Sunday, August 4, 2013

Mountains Out of Molehills

There are times when I over think things.  And by over thinking I really, truly, honestly mean
O-V-E-R       T-H-I-N-K-I-N-G!
The Bible tells us not to worry.  In fact here are a couple of verses:

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. - Matthew 6:34

Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life ? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest? - Luke 12:25-26

Yet this is what I do.  I worry.  I worry for many reasons. The most prevalent reason?  I over think.  I create things that aren't there.  I take a situation and make it grow into something it isn't, then I worry about it.  I, quite simply, make mountains out of molehills.  There are times when these hills are warranted.  When there are enough slivers of truth,  yes the kind that is viewed from all three sides, that it grows greater than it should.  Sometimes the truth is just the truth.  Accepting it for what it is and not making it something it isn't is hard.  HARD!

Regrettably I am turning bits, slivers, crumbs, of truth into things they may or may not become.  I have allowed my perceptions, my basis for it all, to take these hills and grow them into mountains.  K2's in some degree. But the problem here is that once it gets that big, grows that far out of control, scaling it becomes difficult and in the worst case - improbable.  And from there - destruction.  This, this annihilation of the bits, via the mountain, do more than destroy you, a piece of you, but also anyone else that may be involved.  In many ways, no hill ever affects just you.

While climbing this mountain you are going to express or not express feelings and words.  You are going to fall in on yourself, wrap yourself in a cloak of darkness that consumes really.  You are going to have regrets and remorse.  You are going to have good days and bad days.  You are going to gain some  altitude and lose your footing.  In fact, when mountain climbing, the professionals always suggest you use the buddy system, a climbing partner.  That you always have another there to help you.  Yet, these mountains, the ones created from mole hills, we, rather I, never seek a buddy.  I wait until I've taken it so far in a direction it was never meant to go before I share or ask for help.  Often times it is too late to fix the damage done.  Even if that damage is only to myself. 

After, and always after, the effect has taken its toll do I remember.  I remember that my partner, my buddy, to get over this mountain, is one that has been standing there screaming...yes, screaming, in His still small voice, "I'm Here, Mandy, I'm here.  Have faith.  Trust.  Pray.  Ask me.  Lean on me."  And when I get to that point, where I see the summit and I stop long enough to really, truly focus, I realize that the climb was unwarranted.  That I wasted too much time and energy, because of one thing.  ONE.GREAT.BIG.HUGE.THING.  And it isn't a mountain.  But something altogether smaller.  Infinitely smaller -

He replied, "Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you. " Matthew 17:20 (emphasis mine)

And that's it.  I made a mountain out of a molehill.  A mountain I tried to climb to get to the other side where things were to be better, but the truth of it was, had I just had a small bit of faith I could have moved it out of my way altogether.  Moved it!  Then the better could have been enjoyed more because I'd have had the energy to do so. 

That is what I have for you today lovelies.  I have a bit of faith that is trying to regrow.  I have a mountain that I'm tired of climbing, one of my own making.  I have me, myself, here that is ready to learn from what I know to be the truth.  Accept it for the truth.  Enjoy each day as it comes and love each person in the day as best as I can.  And I do love.  Completely.  (But that is entirely another blog.) So, I'm taking off the harness, hanging up the backpack and boots, trusting in my partner, and focusing on my faith.

So that when I get to the other side of this mountain, what's waiting for me gets 100% of me.  And I've got my faith intact and the energy to give.





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