Thursday, October 20, 2011

Car Go Beep, Beep

I realize that my title is by far childish, in fact it is down right rediculous, but it was the nicest thing I could say to express the way I feel.  When a child is small, typically around toddlerhood, grown-ups think it is great fun to teach them car sounds.  Perhaps it is more because saying vrroom, vrroom and beep beep are fun to say and the child presents an excuse.  Regardless, it happens.  So there we adults are, training generations on the first basics of car vernacular.  Why is this so significant?  Well, there comes a time, roughly 14-15 years after those first utterings that said child will get behind the wheel of a car; heaven forbid!  Honestly, I now fully realize how my parents felt X number of years ago when I first started to drive.  However, that is another topic for another time.  I'm making a different point tonight.

Now enter this scenario:  It is raining, heavily.  There are 2 lanes on the exit ramp which pump into 5 lanes of highway that abruptly reduce down to 3.  There is a little black pontiac cruising along in my blind spot that won't go anywhere and we are quickly approaching the "if I don't get onto the highway now, I'm going to eat sound barrier and guide rail" moment and I start to speed up.  The individual, who at this time shall remain ageless, decides, oh crap I better slow down, I speed up, which the person behind me follows suit, only to get into the rain induced blinding mist coming off the mud flaps of the eighteen wheeler who couldn't get over either.  This, in turn, causes me to have to get quickly behind the semi and into the other lane before I became road kill.  Unfortunately there was only one place left to go and that was in the precariously close range of a silver Lincoln Navigator. 

Now, all that said, the little girl driving the black Pontiac was probably applying her lipstick, while texting some rediculous string of letters commiserate to OMG this lady just...letter, letter, number , number combination, all the while singing "car go beep, beep" to the tune of what ever popular Justin Beiber song is current on the radio waves.  The guy in the Lincoln decides he is going to take his $50k dollar vehicle and make it into a death machine, in such, he attempts to run me off the road, I think he missed his exit playing his games, oh well, vrroom, vrroom, beep, beep buddy.

Now I am home, heart back to its normal rate, and thinking back on the potentially fatal circumstances of my drive home from campus.  What could I have done differently?  What possible string of events could have allowed for less rage?  I will never know, but I only hope the little girl has pucker perfect lips and the guy in the Lincoln was able to get out of his vehicle with clean seats.

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