Thursday, July 21, 2011

If Wishes Were Raindrops

I would create a flood.  I find that I wish for things more when I am reading.  I am not sure if it is the whole getting caught up in the make believe or not, but it is what it is.  In regards to that, I am reading a novella of sorts, a small book that is a part of a 3 book holiday edition and the heroin (rather the author) so eloquently stated to the hero in response to his quite anticipated what do you wish for in life question, "she'd spent most of her life wishing it were different."  That got me thinking, is that how life really does go?  Think about it, if you were to really look at yourself and dig deep, are you living the life you dreamed of?  Is it better, worse, or a version therein?  That is what I am getting at.  Who in this world is actually living the life they wished (dreamed) for/about? 

I don't want to come across as being ungrateful for the life that I have.  Heaven knows it could be worse and I do thank the good Lord that He found me in time enough to correct/guide/teach me better ways of going about it.  In fact, I believe that He has done a remarkable job at fixing the misguided directions and willful actions that I have taken.  There is time when guilt eats away at me and those are the times that I have abundant wishes.  For instance, I wish I would have traveled after high school.  Gone to all those places that I have always wanted to go to; such as, backpacking across Europe.  But alas, I didn't.  I got a job, got married, divorced, had a baby and got married again, had a couple more babies and started a blog.  Would I have had the outcome I have now?  Nope.  Would I have known the difference?  Nope.  Would I have then been searching for what I have now?  I can't answer that.

I am not going to pretend I believe in predestination, or that I fully grasp the theological concept behind it, but I will rest in the firm belief, that God never once turned His back on me and the life I live today is due to His diligent work in it.  Oh I wish (guilt speaking) I could have made Him proud of me and that the house I am building in heaven would be spectacular, but even if I'm presented with an eternal dwelling reminiscent of a lean-to, I know that I will still have eternity with my Savior.  Now, I am sure you are wondering where this leap has come from. There are times when my head simply goes in a million directions at once.  Therefore, here is the point.

Wishes aren't raindrops so you can't flood the earth.  Rather, they are the joy of having the ability to dream while living life with the full understanding of the blessing it is at this very moment.

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