Kind of a bland title, I know. However, that is the question; when. For instance:
When will I understand my class?
When will I be comfortable with the skin I am in?
When will I have the confidence to go after the job I'd like to apply for?
When will I know if my decisions are right?
When will I know what God's will is for my life?
WHEN WHEN WHEN WHEN WHEN...IT ALL TAKES TIME!
It all gets to be pretty circular and never ending. For instance do I have so many "when" questions simply because I do not know the true meaning of happiness? I know that these questions are all vaguely familiar, in fact I believe I just talked about each of them in my last post. Guess I have come to the resolution that I thought that I had.
My mind hates me. No, seriously, hear me out. It hates me due to the fact that I twist it and contort its thougths until I work it into mental oblivion. Scary isn't it? Try being in my head for a day, you would really see. Now, don't get me wrong here, I am not a mental case, I don't need happy pills, a straight jacket or a padded room. What I need is to have some understanding.
Understanding about what I am and who I am, this of course beyond the obvious - a female named Mandy.
I am a person. I was created on purpose and for a purpose. (God doesn't make mistakes; which is humbling in and of itself.) I am a Christian - a poor one at that, but I have given my heart to God, I believe that His son died for my sins, and that the Holy Spirit wants to sanctify me wholly. I am a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister, a friend. But through this all I am still lonely. I have a short fuse and the self confidence of a piss ant.
Perhaps the answer to the when is more a want. Perhaps my eyes are bigger than my stomach and my plate is overflowing? Perhaps I need to go on a diet, in both the traditional and theoretical senses of the word. Well, there you go, I've completed another word circle and I am no where close the start of it.
So, with that, I will bid this post, adieu and until next time...when....