Day 19: A Tinker-belle of Sorts

Here we are, nearly 6 AM when I should be getting around for work, but the thoughts in my head couldn't keep my focus long enough to do what I wanted to do, let alone what I should do.  So goes it most days!  HA!

We have been fortunate enough over the past few years to have a vehicle with a DVD player in it.  I can tell you this has been a wonderful tool to keep the Littles occupied on those long trips.  For safety reasons, the makers of the vehicle removed the ability for the driver to watch anything on the front screen while the vehicle is in any gear but park.  Savages....must be for those OTHER drivers!!! Because of this, I have gotten the pleasure of listening to far more movies than I have ever watched.  Sometimes this is frustrating, but other times it is almost like like listening to a book - I get to form the imagery in my head.

Like most little girls, mine have been fond of Barbie and Disney for the better part of their lives, not necessarily playing with the toys, but watching the movies, and boy has there been a plenty! My biggest Little has always loved Tinkerbell movies, even now at almost 15, she still gets a kick out of watching them.  (I'm not entirely sure she would openly admit this, though!) There is one, in particular, I've had the pleasure of listening to a couple of times and it is that one I couldn't get out of my mind this morning while I reading my Bible and doing my devotions.

In this particular movie, Tinkerbell is quite saddened by the fact she has been identified as a tinker fairy. In fact, to prove the "label" wrong she sets out to be like all of her fairy friends.  She tries to make the flowers bloom and be colorful like one friend, to make the woodland animals come out in the spring like another, and make the weather patterns like yet another.  In her quest to do each of these she fully exhausts herself because no matter how hard she tries, she simply cannot succeed.  In fact, the harder she tries the more she messes it up, to the point of near catastrophe in each case.  It isn't until things get so bad in Pixie Hallow that she finally realizes to help save the "world" she needs to build a contraption to do all of the things in a certain amount of time for that to happen. And since we are dealing with Disney here, she tinkers up something from bits and pieces and becomes the hero of her story while setting all things back as they should be.

Now, I will admit, having listened to this half-heartedly (driving the vehicle was always more important) I may have mixed up the storyline just a small bit, but the just of it is there and the implications are grand. I wonder how many of us try to do something or be someone we aren't because we don't feel like who we are is cool enough, good enough, smart enough, showy enough, etc.  You get the picture. I hate to admit, I am a lot like Tinkerbell in this story.  I try so very hard to be someone or something I am not for a myriad of reasons.  The most profound reason why is because I don't fully trust who I am in relation to who God says I am.  I want to be able to "be" someone so much I fail to realize that I already am. (Funny thing, I'm thinking about the bin of yarn and crochet hooks sitting in our living room...yet another failed attempt to do/be something I clearly cannot.  Seriously, how does one get those loops and things to form something other than a lumpy chain.  I have wasted hours trying to do this.  I found no joy in it, but I was determined to learn how since it was obviously something, as a woman, I should know how to do. - I'm donating it all this weekend.)

I think sometimes (I'm going to self-reflect here) I get so caught up with the outward show of what others can do, that I think what I can do is of no value.  But that isn't the case at all, God designed me and made me and formed me for a purpose, this means I have value.  I have worth. What I keep trying to do is appraise it through a wrong set of parameters. Sure I might not be a flawless diamond according to the scales, but I'm a diamond none-the-less, even if I have a slight inclusion.  That is just it, we all are.  We are all valuable and worth far more than diamonds to the one who created us.  The one who created us with the purpose to fulfill OUR purpose on Earth for HIS glory.

So, to those ladies out there who think they are nothing because so and so can do such and such and you can't...so what.  Because there is something you can do that no one else in this entire world can do, no matter how very, very hard they try; they cannot be you. And while I ruminate on this today for myself, I do pray that we find the ability to be bold and stand firm in who we are and what we can do.  God has so much for us to accomplish and while painting flowers and calling the woodland creatures out to play makes for a pretty landscape, someone needs to save the "world" (read that grow the people around you).

Keep growing where you are planted.

Love, M

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