Who Am I
"Who Am I?" At some point in life, everyone asks this of themselves in one way, shape, or form. It is an age-old question. For some, the answer is quick and they carry on with life in full confidence of each step and move they make. For others, it is a daily quest wrought with wins and losses. I am most assuredly closer to the latter than the former.
We live in a society that applies labels to people faster than Amazon can deliver a package. In fact, right now, typing this, I can be labeled a blogger. I also have the honor of holding the labels - wife, mom, step-mom, daughter, daughter-in-law, cousin, friend, employee, the list goes on and on. It, without a doubt, has no true end. Despite all these labels, I have one that has been mine since birth - my name.
I was blessed with a plain name. It has no frills, no elegance behind it, it is boring, and quite frankly I've hated it since I was old enough to know how to. I have often wondered at what level of disdain my parents had for me that they would give me such an awful moniker. In fact, I vowed when I had my own children I would carefully select the most regal, elegant, classy names I could find and, in my minds-eye, I did.
I was reading in Psalms this morning, yes, I am still in this book - it is long and so full of, well, God. I am savoring each word and am incredibly thankful God breathed them into the people who penned them for me to read all these years later. It dawned on me as I was reading just who, exactly, I am. No, there wasn't a specific verse that jumped out and said, "Mandy, this is who you are." Instead, it reminded me that God made people to love, care for, provide for, and share this world with. He made people in order that we could choose to love Him back.
Riddled throughout the Bible we find where people were given names to match who or what they were. That names were given on purpose and for a purpose. That they were impressed on the hearts of the parents before the child was ever born. See, names are a label that we hold for all eternity - not a label that is held for a season, but begins in a season and lasts the balance of our life.
My name means - Worthy of Being Loved. I have struggled with this for decades. Yes, I am now officially old enough I can refer to time in my life in groups of ten. *shudder* There are days, even now, I struggle with this. Days where I feel anything but loved. (Random fact - I have the meaning of my name tattooed on my forearm.) Most especially when the weight of the season I am in is crushing me from all sides. Then I read, like today, where I am loved. I am reminded that I am not here on accident, that God loves me more than anyone, including myself, could ever love me and I am completely worthy of that love.
We all are. We are His. And that, people, is who I am. I am His. And because I am His, no matter what I have done as long as I come to Him and humbly ask, He will forgive and forget - as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us. (Ps. 103:12) That is what being worthy of love does. That is what being a child of the one true King does. It removes all that is ugly from us and creates in us a clean heart. For this, I am so thankful.
These have been hard months. They have been heart-wrenching, emotionally debilitating, and character building months. They have been months where I've been given the opportunity to see the full extent of pure hatred and unfathomable lies people will stoop to in order to hurt another. They have been months where the evil one has used people to hurt us and our family. They have been months where we have been left wondering if there is any good at all in this world.
Despite all of that, though, I know one thing. I know who I am. And what I am. I am worthy of being loved. I am still His and He is still mine. He knows every. single. thing. and He is still here. He shows me when I wake up in the morning, when I see my husband, when I hear my children, when I make a good decision at work, when I am cooking dinner, and when we are all sitting around just being. He shows me. Because He has given me so much. In His love to me, He gave me a new day. He gave me a wonderful man to walk beside on this Earth. He gave me three beautiful daughters and two handsome step-sons. He gave me a job to support my family. He gave me a family to feed and a home to care for. He gave me time to grow with my people. And that, THAT, is love! Not at all because I deserved any of it, but because He is who He says He is.
While there will be days when I question why things are the way they are, I know I won't question who He is or who I am. Because I am His.
And so are you!
Wishing you the comfort of knowing this truth deep within you.
- M
We live in a society that applies labels to people faster than Amazon can deliver a package. In fact, right now, typing this, I can be labeled a blogger. I also have the honor of holding the labels - wife, mom, step-mom, daughter, daughter-in-law, cousin, friend, employee, the list goes on and on. It, without a doubt, has no true end. Despite all these labels, I have one that has been mine since birth - my name.
I was blessed with a plain name. It has no frills, no elegance behind it, it is boring, and quite frankly I've hated it since I was old enough to know how to. I have often wondered at what level of disdain my parents had for me that they would give me such an awful moniker. In fact, I vowed when I had my own children I would carefully select the most regal, elegant, classy names I could find and, in my minds-eye, I did.
I was reading in Psalms this morning, yes, I am still in this book - it is long and so full of, well, God. I am savoring each word and am incredibly thankful God breathed them into the people who penned them for me to read all these years later. It dawned on me as I was reading just who, exactly, I am. No, there wasn't a specific verse that jumped out and said, "Mandy, this is who you are." Instead, it reminded me that God made people to love, care for, provide for, and share this world with. He made people in order that we could choose to love Him back.
Riddled throughout the Bible we find where people were given names to match who or what they were. That names were given on purpose and for a purpose. That they were impressed on the hearts of the parents before the child was ever born. See, names are a label that we hold for all eternity - not a label that is held for a season, but begins in a season and lasts the balance of our life.
My name means - Worthy of Being Loved. I have struggled with this for decades. Yes, I am now officially old enough I can refer to time in my life in groups of ten. *shudder* There are days, even now, I struggle with this. Days where I feel anything but loved. (Random fact - I have the meaning of my name tattooed on my forearm.) Most especially when the weight of the season I am in is crushing me from all sides. Then I read, like today, where I am loved. I am reminded that I am not here on accident, that God loves me more than anyone, including myself, could ever love me and I am completely worthy of that love.
We all are. We are His. And that, people, is who I am. I am His. And because I am His, no matter what I have done as long as I come to Him and humbly ask, He will forgive and forget - as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us. (Ps. 103:12) That is what being worthy of love does. That is what being a child of the one true King does. It removes all that is ugly from us and creates in us a clean heart. For this, I am so thankful.
These have been hard months. They have been heart-wrenching, emotionally debilitating, and character building months. They have been months where I've been given the opportunity to see the full extent of pure hatred and unfathomable lies people will stoop to in order to hurt another. They have been months where the evil one has used people to hurt us and our family. They have been months where we have been left wondering if there is any good at all in this world.
Despite all of that, though, I know one thing. I know who I am. And what I am. I am worthy of being loved. I am still His and He is still mine. He knows every. single. thing. and He is still here. He shows me when I wake up in the morning, when I see my husband, when I hear my children, when I make a good decision at work, when I am cooking dinner, and when we are all sitting around just being. He shows me. Because He has given me so much. In His love to me, He gave me a new day. He gave me a wonderful man to walk beside on this Earth. He gave me three beautiful daughters and two handsome step-sons. He gave me a job to support my family. He gave me a family to feed and a home to care for. He gave me time to grow with my people. And that, THAT, is love! Not at all because I deserved any of it, but because He is who He says He is.
While there will be days when I question why things are the way they are, I know I won't question who He is or who I am. Because I am His.
And so are you!
Wishing you the comfort of knowing this truth deep within you.
- M
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