I've Been Set Free
In the past two days I have been challenged. Challenged in a way that I don't ever recall being challenged before. The Mr. and I are in a Small Group study through our church. We are currently studying Francis Chan's "Forgotten God". If I can take a minute and share my utter love for his delivery of God's truths. He is a phenomenal pastor and teacher. I digress. For those who aren't familiar with the book, it is based solely on the work of the Holy Spirit and the work that only He can do in our lives. Yesterday and today we spent some time reading the book and doing the accompanying workbook and can I say, we were both caught off guard. Not in a bad way, but in a moment of 'aha-ness'!.
Then today at church the message was, for lack of better words, on point. While much was said, I am still ruminating on the reason why Jesus came. He came to set us free from the bondage of sin. Yes, we all know this. However, when we think of sins most are drawn to the tangible, or physical ones. The ones that are blatant and obvious - a harsh tongue, drinking, drugs, etc. But it wasn't those that caught me by surprise. It was the sin that I didn't realize that had me bound in chains so tightly I never looked at it in any other way. In fact, it is slightly humiliating to type this out thinking what a bad person I am because of it.
But that is actually the beauty of it. This sin is the exact reason why Jesus came, for me. What is it that has me bound to the point of incapacitation at times? Fear. I am a person that is so wrought with fear that I react and act according to how that sin forms conclusions in my head. I can read the word of God and know the truth of what He says about something, but then I turn around and in my next step fall to fear. People, don't you see? My fear is basically telling the Lord I don't trust Him or the work of His Spirit in me. I am trying to do and see things all from a human standpoint - from my own capabilities.
And that is exactly the opposite of what He intended for me, for us. Yes, God sent His son to die for my sins, that I may have the opportunity to spend eternity with my Lord and Savior, but He did something even more special. (I know! Can you imagine something bigger than what Jesus did on Calvary?!) He sent His Spirit that I may have Him in me. (That we all can have Him! What a personal God we serve.) I think back to the New Testament and all the wonderful things the disciples and early teachers were able to do because of the Spirit and then I look at today. You guys! He is just as present today as He was then. Only I think we've dulled Him out by all the noise we surround ourselves with.
We live in a day and time where we are told we have to do everything on our own. We have to fashion a life for ourselves and if we want to have hopes and dreams we have to figure out the steps to make that happen. Then when they don't or we fail, why we blame so many other things, people, or even ourselve. Or maybe, we don't act at all because of fear. But if God's spirit is in us then what or whom shall we fear? For me, it is everything. My list of fears is astronomical, really. Some are completely irrational, like my fear of wide open spaces. If I can't find a place to hide, then the space is too big! Other fears are healthy, I think. Like a fear of driving fast. (OK, yes, you might think that one is irrational too.)
Yet, it is the fears I have that essentially limit God and His work in my life that He wants to break me free from. I fear the unknown. I fear losing my family. I fear not being good enough for anything and everything in my life. I fear I am not smart enough to do the one thing I have always wanted to do - teach. I fear I will never get the opportunity. I fear failure. I fear being nothing and nobody. These are my fears. These are the ones I lose sleep over. The ones I cry for hours about when I can't get them out of my head. These are the ones I work tirelessly to avoid. And you know what the Lord says about these? That they are a sin that is keeping me in chains.
I want to let them go. I don't want to be bound by these fears. I don't want my thoughts, words, and deeds to be negative as a result of these fears. I want, nothing more than, for the Holy Spirit to rain down on me and pluck these fears from me - for all of eternity. I want to be a woman who has conquered these - not because I was strong enough to do so, but because I gave them over to the Lord, fully, and with the expectation He in me is greater than He who is in the world. I want more of His Spirit in me.
Then, I want Him to use me exactly how He wants to. To use my story for His glory. Not because of me, but in spite of me. Because in all this, it is not about me at all. This is about the power He alone has to free me, to free us all, from each of the things that binds and weighs us down. And He will. He will free us, for no other reason than He said He would. After all, I do know He is who He says He is and He does what He says He does.
So what has you in chains?
-M
Then today at church the message was, for lack of better words, on point. While much was said, I am still ruminating on the reason why Jesus came. He came to set us free from the bondage of sin. Yes, we all know this. However, when we think of sins most are drawn to the tangible, or physical ones. The ones that are blatant and obvious - a harsh tongue, drinking, drugs, etc. But it wasn't those that caught me by surprise. It was the sin that I didn't realize that had me bound in chains so tightly I never looked at it in any other way. In fact, it is slightly humiliating to type this out thinking what a bad person I am because of it.
But that is actually the beauty of it. This sin is the exact reason why Jesus came, for me. What is it that has me bound to the point of incapacitation at times? Fear. I am a person that is so wrought with fear that I react and act according to how that sin forms conclusions in my head. I can read the word of God and know the truth of what He says about something, but then I turn around and in my next step fall to fear. People, don't you see? My fear is basically telling the Lord I don't trust Him or the work of His Spirit in me. I am trying to do and see things all from a human standpoint - from my own capabilities.
And that is exactly the opposite of what He intended for me, for us. Yes, God sent His son to die for my sins, that I may have the opportunity to spend eternity with my Lord and Savior, but He did something even more special. (I know! Can you imagine something bigger than what Jesus did on Calvary?!) He sent His Spirit that I may have Him in me. (That we all can have Him! What a personal God we serve.) I think back to the New Testament and all the wonderful things the disciples and early teachers were able to do because of the Spirit and then I look at today. You guys! He is just as present today as He was then. Only I think we've dulled Him out by all the noise we surround ourselves with.
We live in a day and time where we are told we have to do everything on our own. We have to fashion a life for ourselves and if we want to have hopes and dreams we have to figure out the steps to make that happen. Then when they don't or we fail, why we blame so many other things, people, or even ourselve. Or maybe, we don't act at all because of fear. But if God's spirit is in us then what or whom shall we fear? For me, it is everything. My list of fears is astronomical, really. Some are completely irrational, like my fear of wide open spaces. If I can't find a place to hide, then the space is too big! Other fears are healthy, I think. Like a fear of driving fast. (OK, yes, you might think that one is irrational too.)
Yet, it is the fears I have that essentially limit God and His work in my life that He wants to break me free from. I fear the unknown. I fear losing my family. I fear not being good enough for anything and everything in my life. I fear I am not smart enough to do the one thing I have always wanted to do - teach. I fear I will never get the opportunity. I fear failure. I fear being nothing and nobody. These are my fears. These are the ones I lose sleep over. The ones I cry for hours about when I can't get them out of my head. These are the ones I work tirelessly to avoid. And you know what the Lord says about these? That they are a sin that is keeping me in chains.
I want to let them go. I don't want to be bound by these fears. I don't want my thoughts, words, and deeds to be negative as a result of these fears. I want, nothing more than, for the Holy Spirit to rain down on me and pluck these fears from me - for all of eternity. I want to be a woman who has conquered these - not because I was strong enough to do so, but because I gave them over to the Lord, fully, and with the expectation He in me is greater than He who is in the world. I want more of His Spirit in me.
Then, I want Him to use me exactly how He wants to. To use my story for His glory. Not because of me, but in spite of me. Because in all this, it is not about me at all. This is about the power He alone has to free me, to free us all, from each of the things that binds and weighs us down. And He will. He will free us, for no other reason than He said He would. After all, I do know He is who He says He is and He does what He says He does.
So what has you in chains?
-M
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