A Lesson in Waiting

I want to be upfront here - I hate waiting. I have never been good at it.  Well, not entirely true.  I don't mind waiting at the doctor's office, in line, in traffic, or on the phone.  Probably because I have my phone with a million and one books downloaded but besides that, I don't wait well. So, what has the Lord done for me lately?  Why, bless His heart! He's given me opportunity after opportunity after opportunity (because just one wasn't enough) to learn how to wait.

Truth be told, I'm an ugly waiter-er; it's sort of along the lines of ugly crying (we all know how that looks). But instead of streams of tears and booger-snotting everywhere, ugly waiting has things like short tempers, frazzled nerves, and a general dislike for life.  In other words, it is just as messy.  Instead of leaving a mess on someone's shoulder you tend to leave a mess, in general.  Granted, it's not intentional - at least in my case - but messy none-the-less.

You see, waiting requires something we don't want to give. It requires, oftentimes, the most important thing we have.  No, I am not talking about time. Time has a way of working itself out.  Waiting requires our control.  It requires ownership. It requires faith. Waiting asks you to step aside and let go. It asks you to live in acceptance and understanding while it feeds you knowledge and experience. Waiting then offers you copious opportunities to grow - personally, spiritually, relationally, and emotionally. 

I heard a message years ago. I can't nail down the scripture reference or even the entirety of the sermon, but I can remember the gist of it.  We live in a time where we can get, literally everything, with the click of a button or a trip through a drive-through.  We, as a whole, don't have to wait for a thing. We fly through life at a break neck pace to get to the next thing requiring our time and attention. We have this idea that the 80-some years (give or take) we have on this earth need to be filled completely full of activity to have meaning. That in order to become - we have to do. But God isn't as concerned with all of that as we are.  Instead of a microwave lifestyle, He wants a crock pot existence.

I love my crock pot.  It makes some of the best meals, but I usually only use it on the weekends. Why?  Because anything made in the crock pot needs a lot of time.  You don't put the meal in and have it done in 10 minutes  You put it together and then - wait. And wait.  The house fills with wonderful aromas, mouths water hours before they can actually taste the food, and appetites grow - exponentially.  All those things then mix together to have a gaggle of natives begging every five minutes for something to eat.  It is precious and fun. It is the best thing a mom could want.  (There may be a certain level of sarcasm there, too.)

I think that is the way with the Lord, too, especially when it comes to life.  However, we are the crock pot.  He is adding things to us day after day to help us become exactly who he designed us to be.   We are given circumstances beyond our control, mixed with those that aren't, to develop the person we get to spend eternity being. And it is hard. It is so very, very hard. Like the seasoning added to a good roast to change it, we go through seasons of life that change us. Some of our life seasons are quick - a major career change, a marriage, the birth of a child, the death of a loved one.  While others are long and painful, drawn-out for what seems like an eternity - a divorce, a relationship gone awry, financial hardship, major illness, and even a prodigal child.

I have weathered many seasons but God isn't done with me yet.  He is still perfecting the person He created me to be. And so, here I am in another waiting period. I've shared over these past 14 months bits and pieces of the season we are in.  Of the trials, we have faced, of the choices we have had to make, of the ways the enemy has worked double-time to fight us. The wait has been less than desirable. It has been painful.  I have ugly cried.  I have poured my heart out to the Lord, my husband, my church, my best friends.  I have lamented and worried.  I have been anxious and lost copious amounts of sleep. I have worked tirelessly to mitigate the pain and hardship. I have done everything but let it go. In this waiting, I have still fought to have control.

This season may be small potatoes (pardon the pun) for some, but it has been exceptionally huge to me, to us. It's changed me. This season has brought about growth in so many ways.  It has taught me that the best way to stand tall is to do so on bended knee.  It has shown me God is ever-present and knows me more than I know myself. It has shown me how to fight for what I believe in and for those whom I've been entrusted. It has shown me there may be pain in the night, but joy comes in the morning.  It has shown me God is who He says He is and He is most assuredly not finished with me yet.

I still admit I don't like waiting, but I am also truly excited about who He's making me in to. I am filled, beyond words, with eager expectation of where He is leading me. Why? Because this season is a part of my story, and without a shadow of a doubt His glory is and will be evident - for no other reason than He is who He says He is. He is my Lord, my Savior and I am His child, and He who began a good work in me will continue on until it is complete (Phil 1:6).

Here's to waiting, may I continue to grow in His time.

How has God been growing you?  What are you waiting on? How might the time spent waiting look different if you embraced it instead of fought it each step of the way?

- M

Comments

  1. So I love your message! Waiting is definitely hard! I'm in that season right now where I constantly go through the roller coaster of being content in God's timing to being super anxious, wondering what's next, to being disappointed, that it hasn't happened yet.

    As far as tips on your blog. There is definitely some grammer that could be tweaked. I love that you write like you think/would talk to a friend, but it does ramble on at times where it can be hard to follow what the point is and what is just a side thought. Personally I use thoughts more in (brackets) and then continue with writing, but I'm not for sure if grammatically that is correct. Diffently something to look into (I know that's an area I personally need to work on too). Also, watch out for run on sentences. Overall, I loved your thoughts and the way you write is similar to my own way of thinking. So in that way it was easier to follow.

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