Thursday, December 5, 2013

All That Glitters...

...isn't always gold.  A few months ago had a friend told me this I'd have stared at them with a deer in the headlights look.  I mean what does this really mean?  Time has given me some perspective on this.  Time and a hard lesson learned.  Here's the thing, pain can cloud our judgment; especially pain that is caused by loneliness brought on by heartache.   I wish I had enough words to describe this pain to those who have never experienced it before.  It is debilitating.  It can and will reduce you to nothing before you get to that point where you are able to stand again.  This pain is magnified even more, to some degree, by the length of time you were with the person.  But, not always is this true.

In February of this year, when the ex-Mr. moved out completely into his own place I had a long talk with my friend, Anna.  Well, I had many, but at this time she told me to stand my ground and to remain steadfast and to seek the Lord to heal my broken heart.  She told me that I needed to wait a  year, an ENTIRE year, before I should even consider dating again.  Her reasoning, I needed to heal.  Completely.  I want to sit here and tell you that I took her advice.  But I didn't.  Nope.  I should have, but I failed.

I dated a couple of guys.  In fact, I wrote a post about dating back in May.  No, don't waste your time, I didn't publish it.  I left it in draft format, and there it will stay.  It is too personal, ironic I know, but it also serves as my reminder that perhaps I did know the right thing and yet, I still failed myself.  Regardless, looking back I can see the pull these guys had.  I can see all the ways that I found them appealing.  Now, there weren't many.  I've dated 3 guys total.  In each case the red flags were present, but I didn't catch them straight away.  I was caught up in their "glittery-ness".  I'm quite certain no man wants that thought and their being associated.  Ha!  In all seriousness, I was caught up in all the wrong things.

I was chasing after a feeling.  I was banking on something that simply wasn't ever going to be.  Sure, for the most part I wasn't ready, but in all honesty, they weren't the right guy.  That's the thing people, when in the middle of the pain of divorce or break up from a long-term relationship you can't always see past the glitter.  I want to let you know that real gold, the kind that doesn't tarnish, is worth the wait.  It can be hard to find, but there is much to be said about the journey.  I have had a rough journey.  I have struggled to do the right things at all times.  I have floundered in my humanness, but praise the Lord He is the redeeming type.  And that's the thing.

God tells us that we, His children, are more precious than gold.  His love for us is immeasurable.  He knows our every weakness.  He knows our every sorrow.  He knows our every pain.  He knows.  It isn't that He is standing there laughing at us, no He is hurting too, but He is also waiting.  He is waiting for us to come to Him for healing, for help.  No person on Earth will ever fill every need we have.  Quite simply, it is not humanly possible.  What makes it even more real however, is when all those glittery people come into our lives and we find ourselves chasing them instead of focusing on the refinement that God is putting us through.

That isn't to say those people aren't a treasure too, but sometimes, the glitter is used to mask the wrong.  And, YOU, my dear, are worth the wait. 

Love, M

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