Monday, December 30, 2013

What I Found in 2013

If I had it to do over again, I would still keep 2013 for all that it was.  Now, yes, I did have a rough go of it.  I questioned my faith, I turned my back on the things I knew to be right and true, I lost my husband, but despite all of that I found so much more.

I found the blessing of true friendship.  I found that while not everyone who says they are your friend really is, but that is ok.  Every person has the choice to accept and listen and believe the stories they want.  Truly life will go on because there are those people who, despite your flaws, see the person you are, the person God created you to be, and still they love you and guide you and help you to grow.  These are the models of true friendship.

I found that I do have perseverance.  I could have let the ick of my life cause me to fail at school, not focus on what I had to do, and override all that I had already accomplished, but I didn't.  I continued to continue on and not only did I graduate, but I did it with a 4.0 GPA.  I'm not trying to toot my own horn, but merely say that I do know I can accomplish much.

I found that I like being me.  I know that sounds a bit weird,  huh?  But it is true.  I look back on things (relationships) and I see (well, with the help of my bestie) that I lose sight of myself.  I take on the role that I think they think I should have while in the relationship.  It is a sad truth about me.  One that I didn't realize point blank until August of this past year and since then have learned to overcome. Because the right person is going to love the real me.  I don't have to create walls and a persona that fits them.  I just need to be me.  And, know what?  I'm not a bad person!

I found that I serve a God of second chances.  You see, there are a lot of things that I would like to take back, undo, and otherwise wish I had never experienced, but that can't happen.  But what can and did happen is that God, when he forgives, he forgets that they ever occurred.  He doesn't do this for His benefit, but mine.  I have the reminder of the pain and the lesson learned, but the assurance that I still get to spend eternity with Him.  Praises to Him!

I found that I love to run.  While most people view running as a form of torture, I find it to be the cheapest form of therapy.  Well, that is before you factor in the shoes, clothes, accessories, supplements, etc!   No, really, I have found that running truly is the best way to see life.  Not that I'm zooming thru it, but that the dedication this sport takes can be applied to all areas of life as well.  I believe it has grown and changed me in more than just my physical shape and health.

I found that love isn't always what we think it is.  I found that it isn't always found in the people and ways we think we should find it.  I found that in order to receive love you have to be love.  But, also, that you have to be careful with who you give it to, not everyone will take it for what it is and can also take it for what it isn't.

And last, I found comfort in that no matter what this year held, each day of next year is already held by the Creator of days.  He is already there in each day waiting, patiently, for me, for us, to venture into it and seek Him and find the joy that day holds. I found that I am looking forward to 2014 despite what I know isn't going to be, but in anticipation of what may.

I hope you were able to find the blessings of 2013 regardless of what did or did not happen for you.

Love, M

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