I Read Too Much

There were many things that complicated today and many things that made it all the better.  The biggest complication, or rather let-down, was the discovery of overly anticipated expectations.  I seem to have a really good knack lately of setting myself up for more heartache.  Call me an optimist.  *shudder* However, despite all of drama today held there were a couple moments that made my day - the message at church and a phone call from a dear friend.  I can't even begin to describe how God is speaking to me through our prayer time and through other people.  The past couple of days had compounded some additional heartache and sadness, to a point I wasn't even sure how I could possibly hurt anymore.  I mean seriously how is it possible?  But as they say; where there's a will there's a way.  I knew in my heart of hearts that more than anything I wanted to go to church today.  Actually, to be quite honest, there i...

There's nothing quite like a broken heart to rip away your desire to do, well, everything.  Granted I've gotten through my days, and by that I mean I have woke up, shuffled through the motions, made an attempt at being human, and then gave into what little tear ravaged sleep my body would allow me to have.  It isn't that I don't have a desire to live each day, because really I do, I look at each one as a new opportunity to continue in my fervent prayer for a miracle.  I also have three beautiful daughters that require me to put forth my best and support them.  However, this gaping hubby sized void in my life is taking its toll.  But I still have my hope, my faith in the Lord, and my belief that all things work towards His good.  I'm learning during this tragic time.  I shared a bit in my last post, the one where I finally shared the pain that has ravaged my life for the past 2+ months.  I've learned that when you truly give your life to the...

I've searched, fervently, for something to heal my broken heart.  I stumbled across a picture on the web that gave me the only answer I really needed, you can see it below.  It wasn't that my vision was skewed, its that my mind couldn't, wouldn't, focus.  After all, my heart is in a thousand little pieces.  I hurt.  My pain is greater than I have ever experienced.  I've been dealt a death blow, I'm crushed.  But, I've found a few things.  I've found the depth of love my church family and friends have for me.  I've found, that I'm still alive, a feat in and of itself, but I am breathing, in and out, though labored by the incessant crying.  Oh these tears, how they burn.  My eyes, so puffy.  My stomach, in knots.  All these a reflection of the pieces my heart is in.  It's a funny thing, really.  How this organ that circulates life has the capacity to ache, to feel heavy over the loss.  In case you didn't kno...

We have all been told, from the moment we were able to understand, that everything happens for a reason.  Next we are told that whatever doesn't kill us will only make us stronger.  Then, we are schooled in the fine art of learning from what has wronged/pained us.  Sadly, it is hard to see past the hurt while it is happening.  It is hard to see any perspective other than the one that is your own reality, because let's face it, when it hurts there are no other sides, just the one facing you.  It is the proverbial elephant in the room.  There are different perspectives, rather other people's points of view, that you can get.  You can ask a random person, a friend that has the same core beliefs you do, a friend that doesn't, an acquaintance, or your own troubled self.  With each of these you are going to hear the right things and the wrong things; the things you need to hear and those things that are so wrong you wish to crawl in a hole a...

Today I had the pleasure of teaching our adult Sunday School class.  I have to admit I was planning on doing something completely prosaic like, "Trusting God when you don't want to," or "Trusting God in the face of adversity," or...OK, you get the point.  It isn't so much that these aren't great topics, because in all actuality they are, and for those of us who wept Tuesday this was more in tuned to that reasoning.  BUT, in all of my ever increasing lack of time I failed to put something together.  Understandably so, it is most impossible to wing 50 minutes on a title alone...there must be substance!  SO, what did I do? I put in a video.  The DVD set is on the 12 best small group studies of all time.  I'm not really sure who made that decision, which panel or board, or what not, but all I have to say is "know your audience!"  It worked though - this video we watched.  It was titled, "When I don't desire God."  Yeah, that...

This week started out like any other; Monday following Sunday.  We had a busy weekend working on the house.  That's the thing about homes, there is always more work than time.  I have been super excited because my hubby and I finally got a bedroom suite, it has only taken 11+ years.  While he was at work the girls and I spent the weekend cleaning, building, organizing, and cleaning some more.  I was so excited to see the finished product, hoping the feeling was shared. That's the end of the beauty of the week, right before it had a chance to get started.  I suppose I shouldn't say that, Monday and Tuesday weren't half bad.  However, Wednesday the bottom fell out.  It was, I have to say, the worst day of my life.  That's the thing about life, you never know what it will throw your way.  Sometimes the surprises are beautiful and welcomed warmly, like the joy of becoming a parent, but there are times when the surprises rip the very core o...

OK, I know you were all expecting "Day 3," rest assured it is coming...well, as soon as I figure out how to explain my day with only using shades of red as my adjectives...well...yeah. Anyhow, back to the free stuff.  Yes, I did say free ! So, the wickedly awesome people over at Influenster have this thing called a Vox Box.  (No this is not  a Dr. Suess type widget!)  What this is, is a box of goodies they put together based on surveys you take.  How it worked for me... This past May my friend posted on her FB a photo of the Vox Box of goodies she received from Influenster.  Naturally, the words FREE and GOODIES had me typing frantically on my keyboard to get to their site.  Super easy this whole process was.  I made a log in, took some surveys (you get badges for doing this, which was kind of like bringing back my inner Girl Scout), and waited.  Yeah, the waiting is the hardest part, but never fear there are lots and lots of bad...