Last Sunday I wrote to you about the lesson we are learning in Sunday School. Well, today we continued where we left off discussing labels and how they can either define us or build us up. I've thought a lot about this lesson over the course of this week. I've thought about the negative labels people have applied to me in the past several months and those that I have applied to myself. I've been labeled by others as wayward, wild, and unkind. I've labeled myself as unworthy, unwanted, and undesired.
It is taking me time to let go of the me inside of me. This person who likes to have all the control, this person that likes to help God on His quest of making me into the person He designed me to be. A question was posed of us this morning to the effect of; what have we sacrificed in our lives to remove the labels that we have applied to ourselves. You see, I cannot remove those that others gave me. They, after all, are their opinion. They belong to them. They are the weight that they have to carry, because they are the weight they applied to the thought of me. But, my labels, the ones I have given myself, they are the weight that I have to carry.
First, I know that that I am not unworthy. I know this. None of us are. God does not create any of us for nothing. He wanted each and every one of us to be here. We are all worthy in His eyes. Realizing this of ourselves is our burden to carry. (There is a lot more to this, but for simplicity sake I'll stop here.) I do know that I am worthy. However, it is the subject of the worth that still has me in a tail spin. Love. All of my woes are centered around that one thing. My desire to have someone to love. I do know that I am worthy of this. To this, every day, I have faith it will come.
Second, and this is the one thing that I struggle with the most, and that is with being unwanted. To the question posed this morning this was the one label that I have given over, sacrificed if you will. Some would say that I have given up, that I have thrown in the towel. Perhaps, to some degree, that is exactly what I have done. It isn't that I have resigned the balance of my natural born days to spinsterhood, but I have sacrificed my label of unwanted to God. I know, with all that is in me, that my God knows the deepest desires of my heart and that He knows more than I do the perfect person for me. I also know, that in those moments when the loneliness sets in and the intense feelings that come from being all alone overwhelm me, that I shouldn't think that it is because I am unwanted, but remember that God wants what is best for me. He wants me to know that He, as my Lord and Savior, only wants the absolute best - for me. And that sometimes that simply takes time. He does this for all of us. It isn't that I won't ever have these moments, these days of over abundant sadness, but with God, my one true love, I am not unwanted. He wanted me so much that He created me. And when that perfect person comes along it isn't going to be him that fills my every waking moment, but the presence of God in my life. You know, I can imagine a number of you sitting there at your laptops, scrolling on your smart phones, rolling your eyes at me thinking that I am some sort of loon. I'm not. I'm simply a girl who is giving the one thing she wants most over to the one person who can make it happen. I'm simply resting in my everyday faith.
Last it is the label of undesired. Now, I know the absurdity of this label as well as its double meaning. I am not going to sit here and go on in vain conceit, but I know that there are some out there that see merely what is on the outside. They do not care for the person within as long as the view is nice. Sadly, this is not the type of desire I am speaking of. I do not want to be seen as only something pretty to look at. I look like God made me to look like. I'm thankful for that. In this way I am not undesired. (Yes, you can roll your eyes.) It is the me, the person that I really am that made me apply this label. You see, I'm a girl that believes in God, and church, and fellowship, and family, and good, clean fun. I am a girl that likes the outdoors, running, reading, and listening to country music. I am the girl that would rather leave the house a mess to go and play. I am the girl that well, believes in forever, and honor, and loyalty, and commitment. I am a girl who believes in truth and trusts that it is spoken to her as such. (Yes, a bit naïve.) Because of these things, to which I try not to hide, I am undesired. Yet, today, in class, I realized this label is bunk. It isn't true. I am not undesired, God is just simply protecting me from the wrong person. See what the power of perspective can do, and perhaps maybe just a touch of everyday faith.
I encourage you to look past your negative labels. Those ones you've given yourself and those that others have given you. Perhaps you have overcome some things and others fail to accept that you can change, that you are not the label they have given you. You cannot change them, but do not live continually in the pain of that label. God can heal any person. It only takes true repentance and belief that He can, will, and did. Do not succumb to the negativity you've applied to yourself. I'm not saying that if you call yourself dumb you should go apply for a position as a turbo-thrust engineer at NASA, especially if you have no working knowledge of astro-physics and smart people stuff involved with that, but truly there are things that you know far more about than you are giving yourself credit for. (Poor example for sure, but I think you understand what I am trying to say.) Just know that God does not make mistakes and all He truly wants is for you to see yourself as He sees you. He wants you to be the person He made you to be. Of course, the trick to knowing that - is knowing Him.
But that is an easy thing to do. Follow these steps: Talk to Him. Read His word. Ask Him into your heart. And have a bit of everyday faith.