The Weeds of Life
I worry. I worry so much I tend to get lost in my head and lose inordinate amounts of time. In fact, I'd be remiss if I didn't say worry incapacitates me on many levels. This past weekend, Sunday and Monday to be more exact, had me in a flurry of worry. Before I continue, yes, I do know that the Lord is an ever-present sign in times of trouble, that He carries my burdens, that He cares about all the little itty-bitty details of my life and all of that which concerns me. I also know He never promised me life without struggle. These things, I know. In the deepest parts of me, I know.
But, then.
It isn't that He isn't who He says He is. No, it isn't that at all. It is more that I have a problem with taking my eye off the storm, the issue at hand. I didn't sleep last night. I didn't sleep much the night before. In fact, in my desire to push out all of that "stuff" clouding my brain, I read two books. I barely functioned outside of reading. I didn't want to be bothered. My mind needed the escape. I was filling my brain and time with whatever I could to push out the worry.
But, then.
I woke up this morning exhausted. More than exhausted. I feel worse than I have in a long, long while. Fatigue has caught up with my body, my heart, my soul. After I finished getting around this morning, I sat down to read my Bible. I shared in my last post I am now reading in The Message version of the Bible. You guys! I need to tell you, in the midst of all the things, God is always on time. I opened up to where I had left off last, and wouldn't you know?! He knew! He knew EXACTLY where I was at today. He knew where my heart and head where. He knew!
I didn't read much, only a few short verses, but they were the words I needed. Matthew 13:18-23; specifically verse 22. The Message tells it this way, "The seed cast in the weeds is the person who hears the kingdom news, but weeds of worry and illusions about getting more and wanting everything under the sun strangle what is heard, and nothing comes of it." WEEDS. OF. WORRY.
They are thriving in my mind right now. They are growing rampant. You all, I need a good herbicide!
But, then.
I remember I have one. A good herbicide. It is called prayer. I can't will away the ugly in this world. I can't will away the evil, hatred, and vindictiveness that lives in another person's heart. I can't will away how they manipulate and hurt others (in the name of love) to meet self-seeking, self-promoting desires. I just can't. But I can do other things. I CAN protect my home. I CAN decide whether or not they get a say in how I react to them. I CAN pray for them. I can. For no other reason than my God is so much bigger than them and the weeds they fertilize.
I will admit, this will take some time. There will be times where I need to go and "pluck" some weeds. I will likely be praying continuously over this for some time - these are some vicious weeds. Yet, I am going to trust, no matter what, in the truth of my God. In the power of His Holy name. I know, in the middle of my pain, He is here. Growing me. Yes, even when the weeds of life threaten to choke Him out.
But, then.
It isn't that He isn't who He says He is. No, it isn't that at all. It is more that I have a problem with taking my eye off the storm, the issue at hand. I didn't sleep last night. I didn't sleep much the night before. In fact, in my desire to push out all of that "stuff" clouding my brain, I read two books. I barely functioned outside of reading. I didn't want to be bothered. My mind needed the escape. I was filling my brain and time with whatever I could to push out the worry.
But, then.
I woke up this morning exhausted. More than exhausted. I feel worse than I have in a long, long while. Fatigue has caught up with my body, my heart, my soul. After I finished getting around this morning, I sat down to read my Bible. I shared in my last post I am now reading in The Message version of the Bible. You guys! I need to tell you, in the midst of all the things, God is always on time. I opened up to where I had left off last, and wouldn't you know?! He knew! He knew EXACTLY where I was at today. He knew where my heart and head where. He knew!
I didn't read much, only a few short verses, but they were the words I needed. Matthew 13:18-23; specifically verse 22. The Message tells it this way, "The seed cast in the weeds is the person who hears the kingdom news, but weeds of worry and illusions about getting more and wanting everything under the sun strangle what is heard, and nothing comes of it." WEEDS. OF. WORRY.
They are thriving in my mind right now. They are growing rampant. You all, I need a good herbicide!
But, then.
I remember I have one. A good herbicide. It is called prayer. I can't will away the ugly in this world. I can't will away the evil, hatred, and vindictiveness that lives in another person's heart. I can't will away how they manipulate and hurt others (in the name of love) to meet self-seeking, self-promoting desires. I just can't. But I can do other things. I CAN protect my home. I CAN decide whether or not they get a say in how I react to them. I CAN pray for them. I can. For no other reason than my God is so much bigger than them and the weeds they fertilize.
I will admit, this will take some time. There will be times where I need to go and "pluck" some weeds. I will likely be praying continuously over this for some time - these are some vicious weeds. Yet, I am going to trust, no matter what, in the truth of my God. In the power of His Holy name. I know, in the middle of my pain, He is here. Growing me. Yes, even when the weeds of life threaten to choke Him out.
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