Today, I turned 40
I've purposely not blogged this month for several reasons. (Yesterday's post was actually written a month ago; I had simply forgotten to click "publish".) In years past I have spent days leading up to this date in an anxiety/depression fog. I've lamented over June in many posts and have, in no uncertain terms, coined it a horrible month - perhaps for the only reason, it contains today's date.
There are times in a person's life when they experience certain rights of passage. We can look back on those times - turning double digits, becoming a teenager, getting to drive, graduating high school, graduating college, making it on your own, getting married, starting a family, turning thirty (without a ton of gray), and like me, today, turning forty (with a ton of gray!).
I admit I pushed this into the recesses of my mind. I didn't want to think about it. I wanted to ignore its inevitability, but alas, this too came to pass. Over the course of the past several months, I've watched old classmates and friends alike celebrate this new decade of life with large parties and much fanfare. I've seen how they embraced the transition and had a tribe of people to welcome it in with.
I won't go on about how this looked for me in that regard, or how I had hoped it would. I won't share the unmet expectations I had set for this day which drew me into a horrifyingly deep sadness over the past week were I admit I was less than lovable. And I most certainly won't share how I wish, just once, that I felt like this day was actually special for someone like me.
Instead, I want to tell you about what I love most about this day. First, I love that God picked this day, out of all the others, for me to come into the world. Not because of who I am, but because of who He is and I happen to believe He knew I would draw this connection at some point in my life. You see, someone pretty special was born on this day, well over 2000 years ago. This person was born to Zechariah and Elizabeth; his name was John. As in THE John the Baptist.
John was more than wanted by his parents, he was personally selected by God. Luke 1:14-17 tells us, "He will be a joy and delight to you, and many will rejoice because of his birth, for he will be great in the sight of the Lord. He is never to take wine or other fermented drink, and he will be filled with the Holy Spirit even before he is born. He will bring back many of the people of Israel to the Lord their God. And he will go on before the Lord, in the spirit and power of Elijah, to turn the hearts of the parents to their children and the disobedient to the wisdom of the righteous—to make ready a people prepared for the Lord.” You see, this man who came to be on June 24th, came to pave the way for his cousin, Jesus, who was born six months later. Totally epic, right?!?!
I share that to say this, I am choosing today to celebrate the awesomeness of the person who I happen to share this day with. While my life is a lot less extraordinary, I know, without a shadow of a doubt, I was no less wanted by God, and I am most certainly no less selected by Him for such a time as this.
While I may not be paving the way for a super epic family member, I do have children who I get the honor of raising, and a husband I have the honor of sharing life with, who undoubtedly need me to emulate all the goodness and love that is the life of a Christian. More importantly, I do have the love of a God who died for me, who seeks me daily, who will not rest until I am molded into the exact version of me He designed, and who loves me more than I will ever have the human comprehension to understand. (How's that for the best birthday present in the history of, like, ever?!)
Here's to the 40th year of my life. To become more like my Lord and Savior. To become the woman He designed me to be, and in the process of knowing one day, I will get to stand before Him and tell Him, thank you for this day.
In His name,
-M
There are times in a person's life when they experience certain rights of passage. We can look back on those times - turning double digits, becoming a teenager, getting to drive, graduating high school, graduating college, making it on your own, getting married, starting a family, turning thirty (without a ton of gray), and like me, today, turning forty (with a ton of gray!).
I admit I pushed this into the recesses of my mind. I didn't want to think about it. I wanted to ignore its inevitability, but alas, this too came to pass. Over the course of the past several months, I've watched old classmates and friends alike celebrate this new decade of life with large parties and much fanfare. I've seen how they embraced the transition and had a tribe of people to welcome it in with.
I won't go on about how this looked for me in that regard, or how I had hoped it would. I won't share the unmet expectations I had set for this day which drew me into a horrifyingly deep sadness over the past week were I admit I was less than lovable. And I most certainly won't share how I wish, just once, that I felt like this day was actually special for someone like me.
Instead, I want to tell you about what I love most about this day. First, I love that God picked this day, out of all the others, for me to come into the world. Not because of who I am, but because of who He is and I happen to believe He knew I would draw this connection at some point in my life. You see, someone pretty special was born on this day, well over 2000 years ago. This person was born to Zechariah and Elizabeth; his name was John. As in THE John the Baptist.
John was more than wanted by his parents, he was personally selected by God. Luke 1:14-17 tells us, "He will be a joy and delight to you, and many will rejoice because of his birth, for he will be great in the sight of the Lord. He is never to take wine or other fermented drink, and he will be filled with the Holy Spirit even before he is born. He will bring back many of the people of Israel to the Lord their God. And he will go on before the Lord, in the spirit and power of Elijah, to turn the hearts of the parents to their children and the disobedient to the wisdom of the righteous—to make ready a people prepared for the Lord.” You see, this man who came to be on June 24th, came to pave the way for his cousin, Jesus, who was born six months later. Totally epic, right?!?!
I share that to say this, I am choosing today to celebrate the awesomeness of the person who I happen to share this day with. While my life is a lot less extraordinary, I know, without a shadow of a doubt, I was no less wanted by God, and I am most certainly no less selected by Him for such a time as this.
While I may not be paving the way for a super epic family member, I do have children who I get the honor of raising, and a husband I have the honor of sharing life with, who undoubtedly need me to emulate all the goodness and love that is the life of a Christian. More importantly, I do have the love of a God who died for me, who seeks me daily, who will not rest until I am molded into the exact version of me He designed, and who loves me more than I will ever have the human comprehension to understand. (How's that for the best birthday present in the history of, like, ever?!)
Here's to the 40th year of my life. To become more like my Lord and Savior. To become the woman He designed me to be, and in the process of knowing one day, I will get to stand before Him and tell Him, thank you for this day.
In His name,
-M
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