I think the hardest thing as an adult is accepting life happens while you are making other plans. It is frustrating, to say the least. It isn't that I feel I should be entitled to any one thing in particular, but that I should be able to have something go my way - even if it is every once in a while. I've held on to the dream of becoming a teacher for so many years. In fact, the idea of teaching is one that I get horribly emotional about. To me, teaching is the most important profession, the noblest and most honorable one too. After all, without teachers, no one can become what they become. Think on that. However, be as it may, that is not the reason I have always wanted to teach. No. I have always wanted to teach because I love to share knowledge with others. I love to read something and learn something new, then pass it on to others. I cannot say I am the best at it because frankly, I've never had the opportunity in a structured way to actually do it.
Now, all that said, in the months following the completion of my MBA, I have hit several closed doors. One could even say brick walls - simply because they hurt more. I have applied to many universities and colleges, even my Alma Mater. All of which have been to no avail. I did get a promising hit a couple months ago, I even went through a rigorous process only to not hear back - neither in the affirmative or negative. It's a good thing I can read between the lines! In addition to all of this, I have come to learn that our state has some pretty interesting rules for becoming a teacher. I have a degree that allows for an alternative license, but I have to have a year of teaching (not substitute) to be eligible or I have to go back and get another degree. The only benefit of my current education in that option being I won't have to take the big test at the end!
So, what does all of that have to do with anything? Not too much really other than I think sometimes closed doors are for our own good. Sometimes we can have passions and desires, hopes and dreams in life but that doesn't mean we have what it takes to arrive at them. And it is ok! Sure it hurts but it isn't the end of the world. I have learned that taking the working world approach to my education has helped me appreciate the value of my education even if it was at the expense of my dreams. That said, I know too, that the Lord didn't give me the Spiritual Gift of Teaching for nothing. I trust He has the exact thing already mapped out for me, I just only have to wait. See, I am still the student! It is a good thing that I love to learn.
I guess what I am trying to share is that no matter what you want in life unless God is someone you want more you will always be disappointed and hurt. I won't lie, there are days I hate myself for not having my dream job, but I am finding it easier and easier to let go of as these days turn one into another. Instead of hurting, I am working to find thanks in it all. Here I was given a gift and passions and I know, without a doubt, God has a plan for it all. It just appears mine and His aren't the same. Praise the Lord for this, that means the plan is perfect...I just have to wait for the details to come through.