I Read Too Much

The other night I was in a great deal of emotional pain regarding this topic of being a step-mom.  I've had a couple of days to think about it and calm down.  You see, I know that no matter what, God has my back.  That even though I may not have wanted a divorce and as surely as divorce is not what God wants, it happens.  And because it happens, God gives people second chances at forever.  Sure, nothing is ever the same, but that doesn't mean there can't be something new and special and in some cases a greater blessing because of it. However, another thing I know is that it is going to be work.  A LOT OF WORK.  I know that; just like all the other things that can go wrong in life, all the other battles, struggles, and lessons to learn from in life, this is just another example.  I also know that God doesn't send us out into the world without first giving us the means to find the answers.  In fact, He gave us the answers before we even knew ...

I am not normally the kind of person who seeks out talk radio.  I've tried.  I mean really, really hard to listen to it, and in the listening to it I've tried even harder to like it.  Some days I can say that I did (like it), others, well, not so much.  I listen to a local Christian radio station. I have had many times when just at the right time the right song would come on the radio and speak to my heart concerning a particular situation that I am dealing with.  So naturally, today, as I was driving to work (much later than normal because I had an appointment) and heard the topic of the mid-morning talk radio I was ecstatic.  I mean, here was something for me to learn from.  Something for me to take and grow from.   Something that I knew would benefit me in the future.  The topic?  101 Tips on being a Step-Mom. I would be lying if I didn't say about 5 minutes into it I didn't want to change it....

I have had a rough few weeks. This morning, as I was sitting in church, it  hit me that I was focusing on the wrong picture.  Here's the thing, I know that in the pursuit of finding some peace in the past year and 8 months I have actually taken some of that away from myself.  I was looking at the things that I don't have, the things I can't do, and the people that I have lost. Today God reminded me of something far more important. Today He reminded me that we are each unique.  We are each going through something and that, yes, though it hurts it is the person at the end of it that He is trying to form.  I know it may seem weird, but I found comfort in that, and in so doing realized that even with all the don'ts and can'ts I have a beautiful list of do's and have's. 1. I am divorced = I do not have a husband.  This is true, I don't.  But I did have the honor once of being a bride and a wife.  Many...

I thought about this a lot on my way home from work today.  The drive to and from work is typically the only personal time I get, ok, let me restate that, it is typically the only time where I can think with absolute silence.  After all, I get me time when I am running.  I digress.  On the way home today I started to think about the events of the last 19 months.  About the people in my life and their position there over that course of time.  You know, I want to be honest here, people come and go.  Allow me to explain. Up until the time my husband left I had a pretty good group of female friends.  These ladies shared a lot in common with me, they were married with children and most of them had a career outside of the home.  We would get together from time to time, talk on the phone, or exchange emails and texts on a semi-regular basis.  Then when the unthinkable happened they were there for me, virtually around the clock.  They lis...

Life seems to be flying by at a million miles a minute lately.  Have you ever felt that way? I'm sure you have.  Between the job, and kids, and kids' soccer practices and games, training for this marathon, running races, church, and housework I feel like I am in a constant state of flux.  Now, I really like to keep busy.  I like to know that there is something to keep me going.  We are those kind of people.  You know, the kind that simply come home to eat, sleep, and bathe?!  Any other time we are out.  Doing.  Being.  Out. Out. Out.  (Total perfect in my eyes!) However, I need to be honest with you. Now that the weather is getting nicer and we are all out many, many more hours of the day and days of the week we have had to start pushing off some things.  Things like church activities.  I told you all a couple weeks ago how I have been torn between two churches, well, that's it.  We do go, still, but now o...

I felt the fan's breeze this morning as I entered my room; not unlike any other day before it. Most days I don't pay it any attention because it's gentle breeze gets lost in the spans, while the other times I feel the cool wind as it makes my hair blow about my face.  Yet not today.  No, today the breeze brought to my attention the emptiness of my hands, the barrenness of my fingers. Over the years I had created a routine for myself, one where I would remove my wedding rings and my pink sapphire ring before putting on my lotion. The breeze would strike my skin, cool from the freshly applied lotion, and gently offer me a quiet reminder to put my rings back on.  In the beginning, those days so many months ago, when I no longer had rings to wear this routine would leave me sad and broken. Then many times throughout the day I'd touch my thumb to the void on my ring finger, serving another reminder of the loss I had been dealt. As with all things time had it's wa...

This essay and I are part of the Messy, Beautiful Warrior Project — To learn more and join us, CLICK HERE! And to learn about the New York Times Bestselling Memoir Carry On Warrior: The Power of Embracing Your Messy, Beautiful Life, just released in paperback, CLICK HERE! Have you ever had those days when you wanted to be witty but you end up sounding well, stupid?  That's me, most days.  My friends will often tell you that I am the funny one; perhaps to some degree I am.  In truth I am the one standing off to the side, hand up in the air, jumping frantically while bellowing out, "hey, you, yeah you, LOOK at me.  Here, here I am!"  Some people are good with being in the shadows, while others are good at being in the lime light.  Honestly I see little difference between the two.  Nope.  Both people really, deep down, want to be validated - they want to know that they are here for a reason. One of the quickest ways we fi...