Discouragement
One of the devotionals I read recently talked about the most effective tool in the enemy's toolbox. This tool is one common to everyone and one that debilitates, to some degree, all who pick it up or even happen upon in. I hate to admit the number of times, I too, have fallen to the pull of this tool. To be honest, I've been holding it firmly in my hands with a white-knuckled grip lately. This tool and I have gotten to know each other. There are some days where I can't see how life could function any other way. Then there are days where the freedom of a victory causes me to set the tool down and walk in the blessed assurance that all is right and good in my life.
Discouragement is a mighty tool of the enemy. People I am so discouraged right now. It feels like one step forward and two steps back with things. In fact, I have begun to question whether having goals and dreams and desires is even worthwhile. Most especially when I am trying to teach my Littles that in order to become who or what you want to be you need to work hard at it and have faith in the process. I have these people who are looking up to me and yet I am struggling to keep it all together. Honestly, I just want to give up on it all. Who was I kidding? If I was ever meant to be a teacher I would have worked harder decades ago despite the circumstances of my life at that time. I just would have.
To top it all off, I have been diligently working to find a new line of work, something that keeps me busy, spurs a level of excitement within me, and pays the bills. I must admit, the more jobs you apply for, the easier it gets! I think I'm beginning to master the art of catered resumes and pointed cover letters. I may, to some degree, be a bit straight forward, but I am honest. If I can't get them to call me, the least I can do is tell them straight away why I am a good fit for the role - it is what the cover letter is for, right?! In all of this applying, I have also reapplied to schools (colleges/universities) who have recently opened up more adjunct roles. I've gotten no calls or emails.
I know it has been said the waiting is the hardest part, and it truly is. I have no doubt the Lord is making me wait simply because there is something I still do not know. There is something I still have to learn. He is still working to make me the best teacher He can. I have to bank on that reality or else the weight of the other possibility is simply too much for me to handle. I am not so naive to think that all childhood dreams come true, but for some reason, I was hoping that just maybe this one could happen. So, in the waiting, I will keep praying, keep reading, keep learning, keep becoming the best possible version of myself for that moment when the Lord finally lets me become a teacher.
Perhaps maybe this is the lesson I am to teach - He has our best tomorrows planned. He has the best things in mind for us. He knows us better than we know ourselves and He knows the best role we are to hold in this world which will light the path for our eternity. While I am waiting and keeping-on, I will have to have faith He is not finished with me yet and that His timing is the best timing. And someday, when I get the honor of becoming a teacher I can look back and see all the work the Lord was doing and realize He had it all under control - I just had to set the tool I was holding, aside.
Have a blessed day,
- M
Discouragement is a mighty tool of the enemy. People I am so discouraged right now. It feels like one step forward and two steps back with things. In fact, I have begun to question whether having goals and dreams and desires is even worthwhile. Most especially when I am trying to teach my Littles that in order to become who or what you want to be you need to work hard at it and have faith in the process. I have these people who are looking up to me and yet I am struggling to keep it all together. Honestly, I just want to give up on it all. Who was I kidding? If I was ever meant to be a teacher I would have worked harder decades ago despite the circumstances of my life at that time. I just would have.
To top it all off, I have been diligently working to find a new line of work, something that keeps me busy, spurs a level of excitement within me, and pays the bills. I must admit, the more jobs you apply for, the easier it gets! I think I'm beginning to master the art of catered resumes and pointed cover letters. I may, to some degree, be a bit straight forward, but I am honest. If I can't get them to call me, the least I can do is tell them straight away why I am a good fit for the role - it is what the cover letter is for, right?! In all of this applying, I have also reapplied to schools (colleges/universities) who have recently opened up more adjunct roles. I've gotten no calls or emails.
I know it has been said the waiting is the hardest part, and it truly is. I have no doubt the Lord is making me wait simply because there is something I still do not know. There is something I still have to learn. He is still working to make me the best teacher He can. I have to bank on that reality or else the weight of the other possibility is simply too much for me to handle. I am not so naive to think that all childhood dreams come true, but for some reason, I was hoping that just maybe this one could happen. So, in the waiting, I will keep praying, keep reading, keep learning, keep becoming the best possible version of myself for that moment when the Lord finally lets me become a teacher.
Perhaps maybe this is the lesson I am to teach - He has our best tomorrows planned. He has the best things in mind for us. He knows us better than we know ourselves and He knows the best role we are to hold in this world which will light the path for our eternity. While I am waiting and keeping-on, I will have to have faith He is not finished with me yet and that His timing is the best timing. And someday, when I get the honor of becoming a teacher I can look back and see all the work the Lord was doing and realize He had it all under control - I just had to set the tool I was holding, aside.
Have a blessed day,
- M
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