I Read Too Much

"In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps."  Proverbs 16:9 I need to be honest with you here, I'm not sure if this is a good verse or a bad verse.  Now, before you get all hinky about me saying out loud there are bad verses of scripture, I need you to know I don't believe that at all.  Moreso, I believe perception can lead one (ahem, me) to believe that.  See, there's a HUGE difference.  I digress. I've not made it a secret, in the least, concerning my goals and dreams.  I have long held this thought I would become a teacher/professor and my life would be complete.  I didn't expect the process to be easy any more than I expected it to be difficult. However, what I am learning is that while I have been planning my course...someone else has been establishing my steps.  And frankly, I do not know what to do next.  I have had some great advice, such as: wait on the Lord, be patient with the process, get p...

I did something brave yesterday.  Well, actually it started a few days before that.  And actually it isn't all that brave.  A big step, yes.  Brave, no.  What did I do?  I filled out my application, submitted my essay, and got 3 recommendations for Grad School.  I am equal parts excited and petrified.  I haven't heard back from them yet.  I am taking this solely as a sign that my essay is in a big pile on a desk and hasn't been reached in queue; not that it has been rejected and the letter hasn't found its way to my mailbox yet. Ok, I may be exaggerating a wee bit, it has been less than 24 hours and I'm quite certain these things take longer than that! In the meantime I have spent so much time wondering why I did this.  Then telling myself that I did it for all of the right reasons. I read one of my devotionals today and wouldn't you know it had something to do along these lines.  Now, I'd like to tell you that it a...

Each day that goes by my heart becomes more, well, something.  I've had highs and lows.  I've had expectations and regrets.  I've anticipated and regrettably been let down.  I've been comfortable on my own and suffered from extreme loneliness. Despite all of this I'm still a mess.  I still struggle.  I'm beginning to wonder when that struggle will end. Will it ever end?  So today I thought it was time to share what I'm looking for.  There are specific qualities that are major - a complete must.  These aren't things that a person can fake either, these are things that will be who they are.  These are what makes them, defines them.  Pretending doesn't allow for this.  Oh, change can happen, but time is the only real tell of that.  Honest. To. Goodness. Truth. Dear future person: First and foremost be honest and have integrity.  Please, above all else, do NOT lie.  Be who you say you are and do what yo...