I Read Too Much

Have you ever looked back over a situation and wondered just how you made it through?  Me too.  In fact, I've been thinking over the past 2+ years a lot these past days and wondered where on Earth did the strength come from and where on Earth has it gone?  There are things I know to be absolutely true about me and then there are the things that I know are lies I tell myself because the truth would hurt all that much more.  Before you interject your ideas as to the difference between the two, allow me to explain.  Truths that I know about me: 1. I am a strong person.  Head strong that is.  I am a truly stubborn woman.  My grandma used to tell me that this would be my nemesis someday (my words not hers exactly, but it was the point given).  She was right, this is at times my undoing. 2. I am a weak woman.  Emotionally speaking.  I wear my feelings on my shirt sleeve.  I do not hide them nor do I sugar coat th...

(I started this post on 02.13.2014) Tomorrow is Valentine's Day.  The day when people who are in love, have a true love, or have someone who thinks about them, receive sweet little gifts as a token of that affection.  This time last year I was packing. Not for me.  For him.  He moved out, completely, the day after Valentine's last year.  It's been a whole year of being just me and my girls.  A whole year where I have prayed and prayed and prayed some more for a love of my own. Here's the thing about love.  It lies.  Let me explain.  Love in the way that we understand it, lies.  Most of us view love as a feeling. We "feel"  in love . And we have all bought into the idea that if we aren't "feeling" it then it doesn't exist.  In fact, Valentine's Day is a materialistic manifestation of  that kind love.  It is a day that advertisers have concocted to make us think that just maybe there is a day...

Have you ever found yourself at that place where the holding on and the letting go are at war with one another? Truth, it's a terrible place to be.  No, seriously, it is.  I've been there a couple of times this past year.  I'd like to tell you that I've mastered this, that I'm the best EVER at taking things as they come and NOT having any thought/emotion/feeling/care about them. But I can't.  I never will, it's part of who I am.  Honestly, I think it is part of who we all are, even if it is just a bit. You see, I'm the kind of person that gives her all.  When  you are my friend I'll BE your friend.  I'll stick up for you, comfort you, provide for you, be there for you in the best way I can, I'll just be.  On the same note, I appreciate this consideration in return.  I also do this in all my relationships.  Right or wrong.  Some of them teach me that I'm far too giving, hell, many of them do, but again this is part of who I am...

I have thought about this post so many times in the last 10 months. YES, 10 months! People, I am literally 2 months from the one year mark where the ex-Mr walked away. I know, I know, I am TOTALLY the last person to dole out marriage advice. I mean, hell, I've been divorced twice now -we'll leave it at they both moved on, but I am the woman that gets left for a different model. Ok, so I'm not being fair to this blog post or myself here. I have a point. I hope you stick around long enough to read it. Truth, marriage is not easy. It is actually the hardest thing you will EVER do in life. I understand that many people do NOT want to hear marriage advice from a twice-divorced, single woman. But, it's my blog and you ARE here. Now, now, I am not trying to be a smarty-pants, it's just, well, sometimes you have to walk a mile in those shoes to realize the full extent of the blisters they create. So here are a few things I'd like to share. Again, I am not claiming t...

Words are powerful things.  Words, over time, can create emotion, feelings, and circumstances.  Words are one of those things when not wisely administered or received can put you somewhere you never thought you would be.  Words are also those things that will lift you up, carry you on wings like eagle's, and deliver the most beautiful of moments.  Words. It started with words.  It started with conversation.  One thought into another.  One idea shared, one dream uttered, one truth over time becoming daily revelations of truths.  Words shared continuously, never ceasing in some cases.  I giggle at the amount of words; beautiful words, true and honest words.  Not that they were funny, but that there were so many.  Epic levels of words.  EPIC!  And that is where the words turned into the longing for a call.  An impromptu visit for a hug.  And time.  More time.  Then the time lead to anticipati...

I read the other day, while flittering around in cyber-space, that there are three sides to every story - yours, theirs, and the truth.  At first I was taken aback a bit by the statement.  I mean, after all, aren't we all entitled to our view of something?  Then, after sharing this thought with a dear friend, and talking through it with her, the conclusion was drawn that it is assuredly the God's honest truth.  See there?  Truth.  Here's the thing, each of us, yes this includes us all, have our own perceptions.  It is our perception that forms our basis of truth.  Yet, what is it that forms our perceptions? I think those are formed by our feelings.  If it is something that makes us mad, angry, or even hurt, then we have a very dark bend on the the truth.  If it is something that makes us happy, glad, or even full then we have a very bright bend on the truth.  Honestly, both can be devastatingly wrong, and in some cases damaging to...

I have had this post on my mind for days, many days actually, but haven't quite put together how to write it.  Then today, as we were taking the movies back to the Redbox, my girls were watching Percy Jackson and the Lightening Thief on the DVD player in the van and it all came to me.  Often they wear the headphones, but every once in a while we just let the move play over the van speakers.  (It helps when it is a movie that I really like too, this was one of them!)  Anyway, the scene that came on, as we were driving, was the one where they enter the Lotus Den in Las Vegas.  I'm hoping you have seen it, because I'm going to spell it out here.  In other words, this is a spoiler alert! Percy and his companions enter The Lotus, a casino, and at first they keep their eyes on the prize, in this case the pearl they need to get back from the underworld.  However, they are constantly bombarded by the "workers" to try this and th...