I Read Too Much

It has been a quite some time since I have shared a post in which I spoke of my grandma.  However, today, I am missing her like crazy.  Actually it has only been in the last few hours where I've missed her so much it hurts.  You see, a lot of women have moms where they can go and talk to them about everything, where they can seek advice, tell them about their day, and all those other joys.  If not a mom, then well an aunt or woman of sorts.  Me, I had my grandma.  In some ways my grandma was like a mom to me, well, in a lot of ways, but mostly because she just was there for me.  I could talk to her about absolutely anything and she didn't try to fix it, correct, berate me, one up me, belittle me, hurt me, chastise me, or turn it into something about her by cutting me off mid sentence.  My grandma was the best.  In the last couple years of her life her memory wasn't the best, and with that came some moments when talking with her were more di...

One year.  That is what it has been since my grandma went home to sing with Jesus.  I miss her.  I know wanting her back is completely selfish on my part, but I do. I want her back.  She was the only "adult" in my life that truly got me.  (Yes, my bestie does, but really, it's not exactly the same.) Have you ever had that person you could call up and talk to for an hour (or more) about anything and everything and even though some of the stuff that you are telling them you know is stuff they should probably be giving you a tongue lashing for, they don't?  That was grandma.  Don't get me wrong, she'd give her advice, but only when asked.  I miss that.  I miss having someone I can talk to that understands the way my brain works, but understands more the truth of God's word and how to put the two together.  I'm sure that sounds weird and altogether out there, but grandma knew the Bible and when something didn't add up, despite her ...

I didn't get your last phone call.  I was too busy doing Heaven only knows what.  Life does that. It keeps you busy.  People will always tell you, mostly the older generation, that you need to slow down and stop and enjoy the simple things in life.  They are right.  I think it comes from a better understanding of what is truly important.  Because I missed that phone call.  The one that may have only taken a couple of minutes.  I didn't get to hear your voice for the last time.  I didn't get to say, "I love you grandma," for the last time.  You came into this world a chubby little blond haired baby on September 22, 1941.  You grew up like most kids in the depression, without much, but from the pictures we sifted through for hours and hours yesterday, you looked happy.  I think having siblings helped.  I saw you as a teenager in the 50's, a radiant beauty in the 60's, a bustling mom in the 70's, a proud grandma in the...

...love and hugs and kisses and smiles and warmth.  A grandma is strength and softness and kindness and praise.  A grandma is a gift.  My grandma came to visit this past weekend.  It isn't often that I get to see her anymore.  You see, she can't drive these days and relies on those around her to get her where she needs to go.  I'd be that someone, but she lives in Chicago, and well, I don't.  Just like the rest of us, grandma is getting older.  I think the hardest part about seeing her so sporadically is that in my mind's eye she is still 50 years old and healthy as can be. When I was younger she used to live next door, this is where I spent most of my time.  I probably still would if she were closer. But I digress... Grandma used to have a sewing room.  I was never destined to be a seamstress like she was, but how I loved to tinker with the scraps she left behind.  I can remember one fine day, in 7th grade, where I was bound...