I Read Too Much

I have a lot on my mind - things which may seem disconnected, but I am fairly certain are not. I need to be upfront and honest here; I am controlled by fear. It not only grips me but takes away any semblance of self-confidence I have.  I read a short article the other day on Forbes.com (one of my absolute favorite on-line magazines, by the way) about traits of unsuccessful people.  Why I felt compelled, I do not know.  Yes, actually I do - mostly because I see myself as an unsuccessful person. Anyhow, to my point.  It said, and I paraphrase, "unsuccessful people use misplaced aggressiveness to mask a confidence that is wrapped in insecurity." The WHAT you say?!?!  I know.  As if that wasn't profound enough to get the brain spinning, just last night the Mr. and I were watching an absolutely adorable British movie (another thing about me - I love British TV and movies, perhaps it is their unrequited desire to push all social envelopes and still meet the need...

I know life is about change.  I also know that life is going to be wrought with ups and downs, victories and defeats, joy and sadness, and so on.  I know, too, how we think plays a huge role in the outcome of each day. You see, today I could tell was going to be a rough day.  You know, one of those days where you wake up and you just "feel" it?!  That is when it happened.  Instead of thanking the Lord for giving me another day, I woke up, looked at myself, and felt instant disgust.  This feeling trailed me out the door and into the van.  Then at Starbucks this morning they messed up my drink, seriously who on earth forgets the double shot of espresso?  Sadly I didn't catch it until I was already on the interstate and took a big swig of my caramel flavored frothed milk...YUMMO... NOT !  But that wasn't even the clincher.  Here I was, finally going to get to work BEFORE 8 am and no...that coffee-less drink I just mentioned...took them over...

A few months back I made a really big decision. (I shared this in my last post.) It was a decision that was many years in the making.  One that was not easy in the least but was most certainly bathed in prayer.  I submitted my resignation.  After nearly 20 years in automotive and nearly 16 years in the same facility, it was time to move on.  I did this with the sole focus in mind to grow myself professionally once I completed my MBA. I would also like to share I have accepted a position with a company which prides itself on growing people and this is evidenced by the sheer number who work for them who have 20+ years of service and still love what they do!  I can not wait to see what the future holds for me with them.  That said.  My passion was, and still is, with education and teaching.  It is truly my heart's desire and what I long to do.  I want to teach so badly that when I do something as simple as to think about it I get all teary-eye...