I Read Too Much

Life seems to be flying by at a million miles a minute lately.  Have you ever felt that way? I'm sure you have.  Between the job, and kids, and kids' soccer practices and games, training for this marathon, running races, church, and housework I feel like I am in a constant state of flux.  Now, I really like to keep busy.  I like to know that there is something to keep me going.  We are those kind of people.  You know, the kind that simply come home to eat, sleep, and bathe?!  Any other time we are out.  Doing.  Being.  Out. Out. Out.  (Total perfect in my eyes!) However, I need to be honest with you. Now that the weather is getting nicer and we are all out many, many more hours of the day and days of the week we have had to start pushing off some things.  Things like church activities.  I told you all a couple weeks ago how I have been torn between two churches, well, that's it.  We do go, still, but now o...

I felt the fan's breeze this morning as I entered my room; not unlike any other day before it. Most days I don't pay it any attention because it's gentle breeze gets lost in the spans, while the other times I feel the cool wind as it makes my hair blow about my face.  Yet not today.  No, today the breeze brought to my attention the emptiness of my hands, the barrenness of my fingers. Over the years I had created a routine for myself, one where I would remove my wedding rings and my pink sapphire ring before putting on my lotion. The breeze would strike my skin, cool from the freshly applied lotion, and gently offer me a quiet reminder to put my rings back on.  In the beginning, those days so many months ago, when I no longer had rings to wear this routine would leave me sad and broken. Then many times throughout the day I'd touch my thumb to the void on my ring finger, serving another reminder of the loss I had been dealt. As with all things time had it's wa...

This essay and I are part of the Messy, Beautiful Warrior Project — To learn more and join us, CLICK HERE! And to learn about the New York Times Bestselling Memoir Carry On Warrior: The Power of Embracing Your Messy, Beautiful Life, just released in paperback, CLICK HERE! Have you ever had those days when you wanted to be witty but you end up sounding well, stupid?  That's me, most days.  My friends will often tell you that I am the funny one; perhaps to some degree I am.  In truth I am the one standing off to the side, hand up in the air, jumping frantically while bellowing out, "hey, you, yeah you, LOOK at me.  Here, here I am!"  Some people are good with being in the shadows, while others are good at being in the lime light.  Honestly I see little difference between the two.  Nope.  Both people really, deep down, want to be validated - they want to know that they are here for a reason. One of the quickest ways we fi...

I have something that I am completely torn over.  Two things, if you will, that I love for two completely different reasons.  Neither of them altogether bad for me; in fact, if I had to really drill it down they are both completely good for me.  I find that I long for both and actually feel upset and sad when I can't have them - both.  Church. Two churches. I have been attending my church for years, since late fall of 2001, actually. And this new one, well, for the better part of 3 months.  Why the new one?  The man that I am dating, yes, people I am dating someone, but I will save that journey for another post, has his own home church.  He has joined me at mine off and on for a little while, about 6 months.  This is something that I really love about him, he goes to church.  Then he asked me to come to his.  So I did.  It is possible to attend both each week.  Mine on Wednesday evenings and Sunday mornings, his ...