I Read Too Much

There were many things that complicated today and many things that made it all the better.  The biggest complication, or rather let-down, was the discovery of overly anticipated expectations.  I seem to have a really good knack lately of setting myself up for more heartache.  Call me an optimist.  *shudder* However, despite all of drama today held there were a couple moments that made my day - the message at church and a phone call from a dear friend.  I can't even begin to describe how God is speaking to me through our prayer time and through other people.  The past couple of days had compounded some additional heartache and sadness, to a point I wasn't even sure how I could possibly hurt anymore.  I mean seriously how is it possible?  But as they say; where there's a will there's a way.  I knew in my heart of hearts that more than anything I wanted to go to church today.  Actually, to be quite honest, there i...

There's nothing quite like a broken heart to rip away your desire to do, well, everything.  Granted I've gotten through my days, and by that I mean I have woke up, shuffled through the motions, made an attempt at being human, and then gave into what little tear ravaged sleep my body would allow me to have.  It isn't that I don't have a desire to live each day, because really I do, I look at each one as a new opportunity to continue in my fervent prayer for a miracle.  I also have three beautiful daughters that require me to put forth my best and support them.  However, this gaping hubby sized void in my life is taking its toll.  But I still have my hope, my faith in the Lord, and my belief that all things work towards His good.  I'm learning during this tragic time.  I shared a bit in my last post, the one where I finally shared the pain that has ravaged my life for the past 2+ months.  I've learned that when you truly give your life to the...

I've searched, fervently, for something to heal my broken heart.  I stumbled across a picture on the web that gave me the only answer I really needed, you can see it below.  It wasn't that my vision was skewed, its that my mind couldn't, wouldn't, focus.  After all, my heart is in a thousand little pieces.  I hurt.  My pain is greater than I have ever experienced.  I've been dealt a death blow, I'm crushed.  But, I've found a few things.  I've found the depth of love my church family and friends have for me.  I've found, that I'm still alive, a feat in and of itself, but I am breathing, in and out, though labored by the incessant crying.  Oh these tears, how they burn.  My eyes, so puffy.  My stomach, in knots.  All these a reflection of the pieces my heart is in.  It's a funny thing, really.  How this organ that circulates life has the capacity to ache, to feel heavy over the loss.  In case you didn't kno...